For the Kingdom
by childwoman
Summary: I told my friend, "If she doesn't write it, I will." She said "I'll read it." I said "Ok, I'll write it," & here we are: It, by the way, is an AlannaJon fic. (Disclaimer:characters, setting- not mine, 'kay?)
1. One

Chapter One

The sound of hoof beats woke Alanna from her uneasy sleep before even the lookout heard the approaching rider.  She rose from her bed and was strapping her sword to her waist when the sound of a trumpet announced that their visitor was friendly.  Muttering a few choice words about how friendly it was to call at this hour she reached for her thick jacket and pulled it on to shield herself from the cold.  At the sound of a chuckle, she spun round, to see King Jonathon standing at the door, a broad smile on his face.  Alanna glared at him and shifted her weight to one side, at the same time placing her hands on her hips.

            "And just what's so funny?" she asked irritably, before remembering who she was speaking to and dropping to one knee to greet her king.

            Jonathon scowled and stepped forward, pulling her up by her armpits.  "Stop that Alanna!  I just had to endure that behaviour from your entire camp and that was more than irritating enough,"

            "And what exactly do you mean by calling at this hour?" Alanna demanded.  "Shouldn't you be in Corus for Kalasin's visit?"

            "We just received some news I thought you might be interested in," the king replied.  Alanna looked up, interest showing in her eyes.

            "This was sent to your father yesterday," Jonathon told her, holding out a rumpled piece of parchment.

            Alanna snatched it from him and unfolded it.  Then she looked up at Jonathon half angrily.

            "You know I can't read these codes Your Majesty!" she announced irritably.  Jon smiled.

            "Nor can I, but Myles told me what it says: 'Please inform my wife that I have found the cub, and she is unharmed and content.  I would think it should interest her, signed G.C.'

            Alanna looked at the parchment in her hands like it was a treasure, and then burst into tears.  The king took her in his arms and rocked her gently, murmuring soft words.

            "Ssh, Alanna; it's alright; your daughters safe; Ssh,"

            "Oh Jon," she sobbed.  "It's all my fault.  If it hadn't been for me being such a useless mother, she'd be safe at home right now, not…" she flipped the parchment over, "The Copper Isles,"

            "Getting up to mischief and no doubt enjoying herself immensely," the king noted.  "She's probably set up her own spying business and is reporting all her findings to George as we speak,"

            Alanna sobbed again.  "My daughter wants to be a spy," she whispered.

            "And why shouldn't she?" Jonathon asked.  "If that's what she wants you should let her, and hope that she will be perfectly happy, and live and love as she pleases.  There's no indignity in spying love,"

            Alanna looked up at the king through tear rimmed eyes.  "Jon…" she began.

            The king smiled sadly at her.  "Let her be as she wishes Alanna.  Let her do what we could not," He kissed her, and then, wrapping his arms about her body, he lifted her from the ground towards him.  Alanna gasped at the feel of his lips on hers and then kissed him back passionately, forgetting for a moment that such things could not be.

            By the time she remembered it was too late to stop.  She had already committed the sin that she had spent the last twenty years trying to avoid.  She had put her love for Jon behind her when she agreed to marry George, and over the years had pushed it back fiercely when it tried to re-emerge.  And now here she was with her arms around Jon's neck, kissing and being kissed in return.

            She shook herself and pushed away from Jonathon, staring wildly at her king.  Before she turned away she saw the same conclusion reflected back in Jon's eyes.  She walked over to her bed and sat down on the end of it, listening to the sounds of Jon collecting the message from George off the floor and placing it gently on her desk.  Then she heard the sound of the tent flap being brushed aside, and Jon's boots fading away into the night.  She lay down on her bed and pulled the covers up round her, and then burst into tears.

            In her sleep that night she dreamed of Jonathon as she had first known him and of all the kisses and nights they had shared together.  She woke up sobbing, and left her tent without bothering to dress, wandering to the edge of the woods.  She stood there for a long time, until finally the cold of a Scanran winter penetrated her turbulent thoughts.  Then she raced back into her tent and dressed speedily, ignoring the sharp chills that rushed through her body as she attempted to warm her body with her magic.  Then she went out to join the soldiers.

            When she woke a few days later to discover a dry throat, blocked nose, and roaring headache, Alanna cursed Jon, and herself, for allowing their kiss to happen.  She attempted to use her gift to heal herself, but found that she was drained from lack of sleep, and this too she blamed on Jon, for it seemed that every time her eyes had closed in recent times, she had found herself dreaming of the blue eyed monarch.  The dreams infuriated Alanna to the point of madness, partly because of the feelings they stirred up.

She had given herself several stern lectures, the gist of which had been:"_You are not in love with Jonathon; you're not!  It's just that you were very emotional, and he was tired, and…"_ but their effect had not been the one that she desired, quite the reverse, if anything.

            She gave herself another anyway, as she sat in her tent with her fingers pinched over her nose to stem the flow of blood that seemed to find room to pass where air could not.  Irritably she waited while the blood streaming from her nose eased and then clotted, before storming out of her tent to go and join her generals.  Alanna of Trebond, Pirate's Swoop and Olau was not going to be beaten by a cold.

            Two days later she lay in bed, fuming silently, as her former squire Nealan of Queenscove placed his hand on her forehead and muttered to himself as his power flowed into Alanna and destroyed the sickness that ravaged her body.  After he was done she got up impatiently, but Neal placed on firm hand on her chest and pushed her down.

            "I will be remaining here for the next twenty four hours," he informed her.  "And until I leave, in this bed you will remain."  Alanna scowled venomously at the healer, who danced back in mock horror.

            "Now, now, Lady Alanna, don't be like that.  The wind might change, and you wouldn't want to be stuck looking like that forever,"

            Alanna refused to be amused by Nealan's somewhat debatable sense of humour, opting instead to reach for the papers that he had brought with him, which lay in a pile at the foot of her bed.

            She began to read, pretending to be unaware of Neal's presence, until he spoke up again.

            "Oh, and you'll be happy to know that George Cooper has returned unscathed from his business trip, and he sends his love and wishes he could come to you in person as was commanded by the king, but unfortunately he has received a very important communication from one of his operatives, and must tend to the matter personally and immediately,"

            He gave a mock bow as he finished his speech, and grinned impishly at Alanna.  "And thus I take my leave of you," He skipped out of the way of a kick aimed at him by the champion and darted from the room.

            Alanna glared at the door through which he had left for a few seconds, and then settled down onto her bed to think.  Neal's message had affected her more than she would ever have let the gossipy knight know.  She was for the most part pleased that George had returned in all health, but she was disturbed by the fact that he had not mentioned Aly at all.  Then there was the "commanded by the king".  That statement perplexed Alanna deeply, for she did not understand why Jon would want her to see George after what had passed between the two of them.  It did not fit with her thirty three years of experience of the king, who did nothing impulsively and was very deliberate about getting what he wanted.  Did his wish for George to see her mean that he wanted to make it clear that the kiss had been a one time only thing, and she should never think of it again.  That seemed like the logical conclusion; it had been a fling, a rebellion of sorts, the king's way of breaking free from all the rules that governed his life.

Alanna began to cry softly, upset that her Jonathon would do such a thing to her.  He surely knew the anguish that it would cause her, and the confusion,  and the kiss had seemed so sweet, so precious, so… forbidden, Alanna suddenly realised, and not just to Jonathon.  She had kissed him too, and betrayed her marriage just as he had.  All for the memory of something long gone, some impetuous childish love that had never been more than a dream.  

Alanna knew then that Jonathon had done her a favour, whether or not that had been his intention.  He had taught her a valuable lesson with his kiss.  She must harden her heart, destroy utterly the feelings for Jon that had lain dormant within her for so many years, and never think of him as anything but king & friend.

Her resolve set, Alanna returned to the documents Neal had brought, a great weight lifted from her.

Some months later Alanna rode alone into Corus.  She manoeuvred her her horse easily through the early morning crowds in the market place, and made her way up the gently sloping hill towards the palace, gaining admittance to the grounds with a wave to the sentries.

She left Darkmoon in the care of Stephan and made her way towards the quarters she used while staying at the palace.  As she passed the practice courts she heard the sounds of someone moving about, and peered around the door to see who it was.  She smiled when she recognized crown princess Kalasin, now Empress of Cathark, and stepped out to join the girl, moving her sword into a defensive position as Kalasin's swept down.  The princess smiled and twisted her arm, unlocking the two swords, before dropping hers on the ground.

"So you finally realised the Scanrans had given up and decided to come back home then?" she asked, dark eyes shining happily.  Alanna laughed.

"Something like that.  But what about you?  Shouldn't you be in Cathark trying to provide the kingdom with an heir?"

"Been there, doing that," Kalasin told her calmly, resting one hand on her belly.  When she took it away the sweat soaked fabric clung to a small bulge, barely noticeable, that marred her perfectly flat stomach.

Alanna looked at her, visibly shocked.  She opened her mouth and began to protest.  Kalasin gave her an impatient look.

"Don't be silly Lady Alanna; I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and by the way, don't be a hypocrite.  Young I may have been, but I vividly remember the discussion you had with Papa when you were pregnant the first time.

"He's in his study," she added as an afterthought.

Alanna frowned at her.  "I'm not…" she began, but Kalasin cut her off with a delicately raised eyebrow.  She then gave the sweet smile that not even her elder brother was immune to and sauntered off towards the royal apartments, stooping to collect her sword as she went.

Alanna watched her go and sighed deeply.  Kalasin was, of all the Royal children, closest to her father in mind, though confidence had never changed into arrogance in her as it had in Jon.  The girl was also a very strong healer, and possessed an unlikely sixth-sense that made her impossible to lie to.  She had picked from the depths of Alanna's soul the knight's desire to see the king, and had instructed her in no uncertain terms what to do about it.

At the thought of Jonathon that Kalasin had somehow conjured in her mind, Alanna glanced towards the window of his study, high above.  For a moment she thought she glimpsed Jon's face framed there, but when she looked again it was gone.

Alanna chewed on her lip nervously as she thought about her options.  They were, to put it bluntly, to go and see Jonathon as she wanted so desperately to do, or to return to the stables and ride back to Pirate's Swoop to her family.

Her thoughts were abruptly cut off as the stone around her neck began to burn.  Grabbing at it furiously, she spun round, and stopped dead as she saw the great black cat slinking towards her.

"Faithful?" she whispered disbelievingly.

"Wonderful, you actually recognize me," her former pet purred.  "And here I was thinking you'd forgotten everything that happened more than three seconds ago.  Come to think of it, you do look a little like a goldfish,"

Alanna blinked several times.  "You… you were…" she tried, but couldn't get the words out.

"Yes I was," the cat replied, strolling over to her and presenting his belly, which Alanna obediently scratched.  "But now I'm back, temporarily, because my mistress has decided that she absolutely cannot stand to have you mooning over that Godsforsaken King of yours for one more second, so either you go up there and talk to him, or I will take you up there myself and supervise, your choice,"

Alanna looked at the cat to try and gauge whether or not he was joking.  Satisfied that he was not, she gave him one last pet and one last glare, and stalked off towards the tower.

Alanna changed her mind at least eight times as she walked up the stairs to Jon's office.  When she finally stood in front of the heavily polished wooden door, she went over in her mind just one last time what a bad idea it was, for the benefit of any deities who just happened to be listening in.  There was no sign that either the Goddess or Faithful were feeling even the littlest bit repentant, so she raised her hand to knock.  Before she could do that, the door opened and Jonathon was standing there.

Alanna sunk respectfully to one knee.  "Your Majesty," she murmured, trying to see Jon's face from under her eyelids.

"Lady Alanna," he replied with equal formality.  "Please come in,"

She began to protest, but was quelled by the look in Jon's eyes, the naked desire burning there.  Instinctively Alanna knew that her own eyes gave away the same emotion, and she stood and stepped over the threshold into Jon's office.  The king motioned for her to take a seat, and she did so, as he slid into one opposite her.  For a long time they stared at each other without speaking.  Jonathon broke the silence.

"So was there any specific purpose to this visit?" he asked.  Alanna winced.

"None Sire; I was passing through the capital on my way home and though I would stop in & pay you a visit"

"I see," Jon replied.  "Please give my regards to your husband the next time you see him, and tell him it seems his luck is holding true as ever," the hurt tone in his voice was unbearable.

Alanna felt tears welling up in her eyes.  "Jon," she whispered, unwillingly rising to her feet and moving towards him.  He stood.

"I'm scared," she whispered.  "Help me, please."

Jonathon's voice was rough as he said, "I'm scared, too.  At least we can be scared together."


	2. Two

Chapter Two

          Jonathon's lips were as sweet as Alanna remembered, and his hands as gentle and loving. She felt the way he matched with her, how well he knew her, secrets that even George did not.  He held her gently, protecting her completely from all the cruelties of the world, but never hiding them from her.  In his arms she was safe, and for a while it felt like everything was alright.  But then she remembered George, and Thom, Alan and Alianne, her family, and felt a rush of miserable guilt pass through her.  What was she doing to them by being with Jonathon?  Even if they knew nothing about it was a betrayal, every second it was allowed to continue.

            Alanna began to cry silently, and felt hot tears run down her face in rivers.  Jonathon tasted the tears, and opened his eyes to look at her.  She began to sob.  The king pulled her tighter against his body and lay his head on top of hers, murmuring soothingly.

            They stood together for a long time, until with a fresh bout of sobbing Alanna wrenched her body away from Jon's, and turned away.  Carefully Jon rotated her by the shoulders until she was looking at him again, and for the first time Alanna saw that he too had tears in his eyes.  She inhaled sharply and tried again to hide her face.

            "Why must you do that?" Jon asked her, sounding almost amused along with his misery.  She shrugged and then took a deep breath.

            "Pride maybe?  Vanity.  I don't want people to see me looking like this, when I'm upset.  Some woman can cry and look beautiful.  I can't," As she said it she remembered the young princess Thayet telling her that, as she sat in her room in an inn crying over the Shang warrior Liam Ironman.  That had been during the expedition when Alanna had acquired the Dominion jewel, before Jonathon was king and Thayet was queen.  As she remembered Thayet Alanna began to cry anew at the thought of her betrayal.

Jon held her tightly.  "I'm sorry; I'm so sorry," he whispered through his tears.

Alanna sniffed, relaxed, and then broke down again as she thought of their hopeless situation.  "What are we going to do Jon?" she asked.

            "I don't know," he replied.  "I don't know anything right now, except that I love you,"

            She cried again.  "Stop saying it Jon.  Please stop,"

Jonathon stared at her and then gripped her arms fiercely.  "I love you," he repeated.  "That's the truth Alanna; I always will love you.  And denying it is what got us here in the first place,"

            "Why did you try to send George to me?" she asked him.

            "I wanted you to love him, and forget about us," he replied.  "I didn't want this to happen,"

            Alanna laughed.  "And I have spent far too many hours telling myself to forget us," she announced.  "All in vain.  I don't think it is possible for me to stop loving you,"

            Jonathon's voice was thick with emotion.  "Forever, my lady Knight," he whispered.  "No matter what, I'll love you always, and never let you forget it."

            At this statement, the tears that Alanna had begun to control streamed out again.  Jonathon laughed.  "What is it that makes the Lioness cry?"

            Alanna swatted at him through her tears.  Then she became serious again.  "Jon…" she asked.  "What's going to happen now?"

            The king kissed her forehead one last time.  "I don't know," he admitted.  "I shall be king, and Thayet shall be my queen, and you my vassal.  And you will return to your Pirate's Swoop, your husband and your adventures.  You and I… that I don't know.  All I can say is I want you; I hope that's enough,"

"Alright," Alanna replied.  "We'll figure it out together someday,"

Jon nodded.  "Will you stay a while?" he asked her.

She nodded.  "I'd like to see Kalasin again, and Kel's here too.  I might even train with the Riders for a while,"

Jonathon grimaced.  "I pity them greatly," he remarked cheekily.  Alanna gave him a quick slap for his cheekiness, and then disentangled herself from his arms and made for the door.

"I'll let you get back to your work Sire," she announced.  Jonathon, who had already taken his seat, gave a wry smile.

"Well from the looks of things I'll be here till Erastide, so until then…" Alanna left the room smiling, and made her way down the stairs to the palace, searching for Keladry.

She found the young knight on the practise courts, watching squires at their fencing.  Kel's face was set to a scowl, and as she joined her, Alanna inquired as to why.  Kel gestured towards the stands on the other side of the court, and, following her eyes, Alanna found the Royal children, Kalasin, Crown Prince Roald, and the younger Princes, Liam and Jasson, and Princess Lianne.

All of these later three were younger than their elder brother and sister by at least five years, which separated them from Kally and Roald greatly.   But the difference also meant that the eldest two had had a part in raising their younger siblings, and as a result, the younger ones, especially Lianne, adored them.

Lianne was at that moment showing Roald something in a book she carried with her, while Liam and Jasson bickered for Kalasin's attention.

Alanna saw that Roald, while paying infinite attention to Lianne, had one eye permanently fixed on Kalisin, as if ready to jump up and protect her in an instant.  That made Alanna smile; she was glad that neither time nor seas nor marriage could weaken Roald and Kally's bond, which was probably closer than that of Alanna's own twins.

She couldn't see what troubled Kel about the scene, and turned back to her young friend with a puzzled look on her face.  "I don't see the problem," she admitted.

Kel snorted derisively.  "They shouldn't be having a family gathering out here," she told Alanna.  'Even if they are Royal.  It could distract the fighters."

Alanna looked at her sceptically.  Kel wasn't the sort of person who she would expect to complain about something like that.  "Are you sure that's the problem?" she asked.

Kel shrugged.  "It's just, look at her," she burst out suddenly, though mercifully fairly quietly.  "Taking all his time, when he should be paying attention to Shinko.  She's his wife after all, and she's pregnant," Alanna realised that Kelardry was talking about Kalasin, and obviously didn't know that the Catharki Empress was pregnant too, if not as dramatically as Princess Shinkokami.  She decided not to inform Kel; if the king and queen hadn't told their court yet, then it was not Alanna's place to do so.  She didn't need Jonathon yelling at her for spreading gossip, though she doubted he would.

She turned her attention back to the royal children, and discovered that Liam had taken to the practise courts, being in his first year as a page, and Jasson had clambered down the benches to watch his brother, while Lianne had jumped up in her seat, and was cheering furiously.  Roald and Kalasin were watching too, smiling the polite smiles that they had been taught to use in public when they were very young.  Their attention was clearly elsewhere, and Alanna suspected that they were using what was commonly referred to as "twinspeak', communication with thought rather than out loud, so as to catch up privately with out offending their enthusiastic siblings.  Alanna could vaguely understand why the closeness of brother and sister would offend Kel, who had known Roald and Shinkokami for quite some time, was close with the Yanami princess and had in fact played a large role in helping Roald and Shinko to build their relationship, but had never even met Kalasin.

            "Where is the princess?" she asked Kel.

            "In her room, feeling like a beached whale," the younger knight told her.  Alanna sighed.  She could see that Kel had firmly decided that Kalasin was an enemy, and was not likely to get over it, much like her dislike for the king, which was slightly more justified.

            "Why don't you go and see her then?" she suggested.  "I'm sure you could make her feel better,"

            "Not as much as her husband could," Kel retorted, and left.

            Alanna made her way over to Roald and Kalasin, alone now; for the excitable Lianne had finally given up on her maidenly dignity and gone down to join her brother, screaming hoarsely to cheer for Liam.  Alanna sidestepped them as she climbed the stands to reach Roald and Kalasin, who both smiled at her in greeting.

            "What's wrong with Kel?" Roald asked.

            "I don't think you'd care to know," Alanna replied.  Kalasin's face twitched in and out of a smile.

            "So how long will you be staying, Lady Alanna?" she asked innocently, as if they had not spoken earlier.  Alanna privately thanked the Goddess that Roald and Kalasin did not share everything.  No matter how close they were, the prince and princess were very different people, and Roald was not nearly as liberal as his sister.

            "Well I think I should stay and see the heir born," she replied, smiling at Roald, who promptly blushed deep red.  Another way the two were not similar; Roald was terribly shy, compared to Kalasin's practical, almost blunt acceptance.

            "I'm sure everyone would appreciate that," the princess noted.  Her brother nodded.

            "I think Shinko would like it if you were to visit her sometime," he commented.  "She's terribly frightened, and no matter how many court ladies tell her that it's not so bad…" here he blushed again, "she still doesn't believe them.  Maybe if you were to tell her…" he trailed off.

            Alanna smiled.  "I'll talk to her if you think it will help,"  Roald brightened.

            "I don't like this," he confessed.  "There are always all these woman folk around, and every time I speak they act as if I'm a dog.  I can't even speak to Shin'," his eyes became downcast and Kalasin reached out to put an arm around him.

            "You have as much right to be with her as all the women do," she informed her brother.  "Just stand up for yourself; I'll help," She rested her head on Roald's chest and smiled at him.  "Don't worry,"

            Alanna glanced towards the horizon.  The early afternoon sun was not enough to warm her properly, and she shivered.  With goodbyes to Roald and Kally, she made her way down the stands and went of to look for her father.

            She found Myles in his study, poring over a coded map.  Alanna stood at the door watching him until he glanced up from his and saw her.  A smile spread across his face.

            "Alanna!" he exclaimed.  "What brings you here?"  He got to his feet and walked quickly over to her, holding out his arms.  Alanna hugged her father and then settled down in the chair he offered her.

            "Just thought I'd stop by on my way home," she told him.  "But things seem to want me to stay longer,"

            "Things?" Myles inquired, knowing of his daughter's involvement with the Gods.

            "Well I'd like to see Roald's baby born," she expained, "And I haven't trained with the riders in a long time."

            "What about your home?" Myles asked.  "And George?"

            "I'll have plenty of time left for that later," Alanna replied crossly.  "Please don't try to make me relax Myles; I'm fine."  She got to her feet and walked from the room.

            "Fine?" Myles asked after she was gone.  "That didn't seem fine to me,"

"Are you alright Kally?" Roald asked his sister.  She smiled.

"I'm fine Roald.  Don't worry about me.  I can take care of myself."

"But you don't, and anyway, it's not just you that you have to take care of now," His cheeks were scarlet.  Kalasin laughed.

"For Goddess sake Roald, we're both adults.  There's nothing to be embarrassed about,"

"But you're my sister…" the prince protested.

"And you're my brother," she replied seriously, looking up at his through her lashes.  They were alone now; after the squires had finished fencing Liam and Jasson had run off with their friends, and Lianne had gone with her friends to watch them.  Kalasin had been invited to go with them, but she had declined, saying there were things she needed to attend to.

            There were, important discussions to be had with her mother, father, and the Catharki Ambassador, but they would wait.  For now she enjoyed being with her brother again, though the innocent play of their childhood was no more.  Roald was the only thing Kalasin missed when she was in Cathark, with a fierce pain that refused to go away.  Her sense told her that the agony would dull over time, but still she was anguished every time she remembered that her fate and Roald's were separated by hundred of miles.

She let some of that anguish go now, allowing tears to flow from her eyes and down her cheeks.  They would never fix the wound inside her, but it was nice to cry without having to worry about millions of courtiers descending on you in a panic.

Roald only caught some of the emotions she was feeling.  "Is something wrong?" he asked as he moved to comfort her.  "Are you having problems with Kaddar?"

Kalisin smiled.  She knew Roald didn't trust her husband, who he'd only met once, at Kalasin's wedding.  He didn't want a stranger looking after of his beloved sister, to whom he had always been soul guard.

"No," Kalasin told her brother.  "I'm having no more problems with Kaddar than you are with Shinko,"

"Then what is it?" Roald asked.  "Are you upset that you were married by politics?"

Kalasin shook her head once more.  "No," she replied.  "I knew I was going to marry for Tortall when I was still a girl, just like you were, and like Papa was, and all our family before that,"

Roald stuttered over the response he wanted to make, and Kalasin smiled, pleased that she could still flap her unflappable brother.

"You know what I said is true Roald, without political marriages you and I wouldn't even be here,"

Roald closed his mouth, because he did know what she meant, in spite of what they had always been told.

"So what's he matter?" he asked her.

"I just miss you," Kalasin replied.  "I know the ocean isn't really that wide, but it feels like we're separated by forever."

Roald hugged his sister closely.  "I know," he replied silently.  "But I promise it'll get better someday,"


	3. Three

Chapter Three

Alanna wandered through the empty palace halls, lost in a dream.  She wasn't watching where she was going, and jumped about a foot in the air when a skeletal bird came flapping around the corner, followed by a baby dragon running flat out.  Alanna flattened herself against the war as Bonedancer and Kitten, Skysong, raced past her.  She grinned at the thought of the scolding the pair would receive if caught by Daine, or Numair, or Lindhall Reed.

            Her smile widened a few moments later, as a pair of young woman in servants garb came panting around the corner.  One of the women glanced up at Alanna, and curtseyed respectfully.

            "Beg pardon lady, but did you see what way them animals went?"

            Alanna pointed towards the place she had last seen Kitten and Bonedancer, and the maid curtseyed again and ran off in that direction.

            "What on earth was that?" she heard a voice asked.  Turning round, she found Thayet, queen of Tortall, leaning casually against the wall, smiling.  Alanna's heart sped up for a moment as she remembered the crime she had committed against Thayet, and as a result, her answering smile probably looked considerably forced.

            "Skysong and Bonedancer decided that the halls were a good place to play tag, and those ladies seem to disagree," she replied, feeling as though the word 'Traitor' was painted in huge letters on her forehead.

            But Thayet didn't notice her unease, or ignored it.  She laughed.  "I pity the maids,"

            Alanna's smile grew stronger.  "I was just thinking how sorry I'd be for Kitten and Bonedancer if Daine or Lindhall caught them."

            Thayet thought about it for a moment, and then nodded.  "You have a point there," she agreed.  "But now tell me about you.  I've missed you.  It's been awfully quiet around here lately,"

            "I don't think I'll make much difference to the noise level Your Majesty," Alanna told her friend.

            "Maybe, but still, it's good to have you back.  I've been sorely lacking in sensible female companions of late.  Ever since Buri was married she's been off in another world," The queen took Alanna's arm and began to walk her through the palace.

            Alanna laughed.  "We can only hope that her husband has managed to keep his head on better,"

            "Indeed," Thayet agreed.  "So how are you?"

            "Alright for having spent the last three months enduring winter near Scanra," the champion told her.

            "Oh that's right, you don't like the cold do you?" Thayet recalled.  "Whatever was Jonathon thinking to place you there?"

            "Probably of the threat I made to cut off his ears if he tried to put me anywhere else," Alanna replied, trying to suppress the wave of cold fear that welled up inside at the mention of Jon's name.  Thayet laughed again, and after a moment, Alanna joined her.

            "So you'll be glad to be back with us here," the queen continued.

            "Very,"

            "And how long do you plan to stay?"

            "As long as I can, but at least until your grandchild is born,"

            "Which one?" Thayet asked.  When Alanna frowned she laughed.  "I saw Stephan some hours ago, and he said you'd arrived.  You must've seen Kally or Jonathon, and I know either one would have told you,"

            "You're right; I've seen them both, and Kally told me, but I think she'll be back in Cathark long before hers is born,"

            "Perhaps," Thayet frowned.  "I'd hoped she could stay here during her pregnancy.  Her body's not used to the climate over there,"

            "Have you talked to her husband about that yet?" Alanna queried.

            "Ah, no," Thayet replied.  "I thought I'd try Jonathon first, as practice, though I don't actually think it'll be either of them that presents a problem,"

            "Kally?"

            "Exactly."

            "Why?"

            "I don't know really.  She'd probably just see it as cheating, hiding from a problem by making little excuses,"

            "Pregnancy is hardly a little excuse,"

            "To Kalasin, the end of the world is a little excuse," the girl's mother sighed.  "And besides, I think she feels the more time she spends in Tortall, the less she can do as a monarch in Cathark,"

            "She does have a point on that one," Alanna pointed out.

            "I know that, but I just wish she'd talk to me more.  She's coping with the separation too well,"

            "Maybe because she knew it was going to happen,"

            "Maybe,"

            The two women walked in silence for a while.  Alanna thought about Jonathon, and wished she was with him in his study, or even better, in the bed they had shared when he was a new knight and she was his squire, instead of wandering through the palace with his wife.  She remembered the day in the desert when she'd told Thayet to marry Jon, and remembered that even then she'd been lying when she said she wasn't in love with him any more.

            She stopped her thoughts when she realised they were headed towards the rider barracks.  A good third of the palace's empathic population dwelt there, and Alanna didn't want any untrained mage eaves-dropping on her mood.  She made a mental note to avoid her mother-in-law, Eleni Cooper, as much as possible, trying to forget the fact that the woman had helped her through her early romantic problems with Jonathon and George.  She knew that Eleni would probably still be willing to talk to her about it in an unbiased way, but Alanna didn't really want to talk to George's mother about the fact that she was cheating on her son.

            Hearing Thayet call out to someone, she looked up to see Onua Chantoung, the Horse Mistress for the Queen's Riders, wandering in their direction.  Alanna suddenly remembered her promise to Roald to visit his wife, and after greeting Onua, she made her excuses to Thayet, and headed off in the direction of Shinkokami's rooms.

            Alanna knocked on the door to Roald and Shinokami's quarters.  As she waited for an answer she nervously smoothed her tunic.

            A Yanami maid opened the door and stared at Alanna.  "Yes Ma'am?" she asked.

            Alanna smiled at her politely.  "I'd like to see Princess Shinkokami please," she requested.

            The maid opened the door wider to allow Alanna to step into the small ante-chamber.  Nodding towards a door the maid whispered, "She's in there; only don't expect to be able to speak to her much.  That room's fair crowded with Noblewomen all thinking they know what's best for Her Ladyship," she snorted.  "Best my foot Lady, beggin your pardon.  What Princess Shinkokami needs is fresh air and some time to herself, if you'll excuse my boldness Ma'am,"

            "I'm sure you're right," Alanna told her.  "Don't worry; I'll speak to the Princess.  Leave that door open," she added, pointing to the one she had come through.

            The maid nodded and watched as Alanna pushed open the door into Shinkokami's bed-chamber.  She paused for a moment to examine the scene, and coughed as the scent of a million miscellaneous incenses floated into her nostrils.

            Princess Shinkokami lay on her bed, fully clothed even down to her shoes.  Around her bed were masses of Noble Tortallan ladies, and even a couple of visiting dignitaries.  They were all fussing over the princess enthusiastically, but what they were actually accomplishing Alanna wasn't sure.  She glanced to the sides of the room and saw Kel leaning against the wall with a heavily blank expression on her face.  Lady Yuki of Queenscove, Shinkokami's lady in waiting and Neal's wife, was standing next to her, wearing the identical Yanami expression to Kel's.

            Alanna smiled at the pair, before turning to face the rest of the room.

            "Everybody out!" she yelled, placing one hand on her belt as if to grip a sword.  Instantly all the ladies looked up at her with shocked expressions.  Shinkokami's eyes were wide.

            Alanna pointed menacingly at the door, and all the ladies jumped up to scurry through it.  Alanna glanced at Yuki and Kel.  "I'll come and talk to you in a moment," she promised.  Both women nodded, bowed, and closed the doors behind them as they left the room.

            Alanna wandered over to the windows and opened them to allow air to begin to circulate.  Then she walked over to Shinko's bed, and sat down next to the princess.

            "What will the king think about you doing that?" the girl asked.  Alanna chuckled.

            "He'll understand, and if he doesn't, well, it'll be fun to educate him," she replied.  "Now, let's fix you up.  Do you really want those shoes on?"

            Shinko gave a shy smile.  "Not really," She lifted her feet as Alanna removed the boots.  The knight dropped them unceremoniously on the floor.

            "Better?" she asked, and Shinko nodded.

            "Thank you," she addressed Alanna.  "Those ladies have been hovering over me for days, and I didn't know how to get rid of them,"

            "Yell," Alanna recommended.  "Or tell Kel or Yuki to get rid of them.  If that doesn't work, find me, and tell Thayet about it,"

            Shinko blushed.  "I don't want to trouble her," she whispered.  Alanna laughed again.

            "You won't be troubling her; you're part of her family,"

            "But she's always so busy,"

            "With things that she doesn't want to be doing and probably would delight in having an excuse to get out of," Alanna told her firmly.  "& she'll always be happy to talk to you, as will I,"

            The princess's blush deepened.  "You've been speaking to Roald?" she acused.

            "Yes," Alanna told her. "And he's very nervous as well,"

            Skinko smiled.  "I know.  He's so sweet to me,"

            "I can imagine,"

            "It's just… I know that it happens to women all the time, but…" the young woman had turned scarlet.

            Alanna smiled gently.  "But you're still worried," Shinko nodded.  "Well don't be.  You'll be fine.  You've got the best healers in Tortall to attend to you, and I'll be here as well, and Princess Kalasin.  And after it's over you'll have a child, and the kingdom will have its heir, and everyone can breathe a sigh of relief.  It really isn't that bad Your Highness,"

            "My friends call me Shinko," the princess muttered.

            "Alright then Shinko" Alanna agreed.  "Now shall we call your friends in?"  The princess nodded and Alanna walked to the door to call in Kel and Yuki.  After they came in and sat down she turned to speak to all three girls.

            "You don't have to let all those women in here.  When Thayet was pregnant Buri and I used to kick them out all the time; the king won't mind,"

            Kel looked dubious.  "Are you sure?" she murmured, not intending Alanna to hear her.

            Alanna looked at her sharply.  "Yes I am.  Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and speak with him," She stood and walked out, passing the grinning maid on the way.

            "Oh that was just brilliant Lady Alanna," she told the knight.  Alanna smiled back at her.

            Jon was still in his office.  He looked up at her.

            "Lock the door behind you," he instructed.  Alanna complied quickly, and then took the seat opposite the king.  Jon took his chair and dragged it around the desk so they were only centimetres apart.

            "I just had a visit from a large portion of the palace's noble ladies," he informed her.  "Care to share your side?"  Alanna looked at him, and smiled when she saw the amused smile shining in his eyes.

            "Those ladies were harassing your poor daughter-in-law," she told him.  "Do you remember when you had the Sweating Sickness; her room was like that.  That environment is totally inappropriate for an expectant mother, especially one as shy as Shinko!"  She was trying to sound severe, but the sight of the amusement shining in the king's eyes melted her resolve and she ended up smiling uncontrollably.  Jon grinned at her.

            "What I remember about the sweating sickness," Jon replied deliberately.  "Is that you, my Lady Knight, came into my room and kicked all of those nobles out, and saved my life.  That was the first time I heard you as a woman, remember,"

            Alanna had to look away from his eyes.  "I remember," she whispered.

            "Did you know that was when I fell in love with you?" Jonathon asked.  "Even though I didn't know it then," He leaned towards her and smiled.

            Alanna closed her eyes and allowed Jonathon's lips to meet with hers.  He pulled her into his lap as the kiss deepened.

            "So you're not mad with me?" she purred softly.  Jonathon kissed her again for reply.

            "There's nothing wrong with being mad," he pointed out.  "It means we get to make up again later,"

            Alanna shook her head and chuckled.  "I love you Jonathon," she whispered.

            "I love you too," he replied.  "& that's all that matters right now," He ran his hands through Alanna's thick red hair and wrapped his arms around her.

            The sound of feet pounding up the stairs caused them to bolt apart liked frightened rabbits.  Alanna raced over to unlock the door as Jonathon returned the chairs to their original positions.

            The intruder was Gary.  "Sorry to interrupt Jon," he panted.  "Oh hello Alanna, Stephan said you were here,"

            "What did you need Gary?" Jonathon asked.

            "Oh right," the knight returned to his purpose.  "Well, the thing is, we can't find Prince Roald.  Lianne said that she'd been with him and the other children at the practice courts, but she and Jasson and Liam left, and now Roald's nowhere to be found.  Daine flew over the area and couldn't find him, and Numair's scrying spell turned up nothing.  The queen's fairly worried," he added.

            Jon and Alanna exchanged a look.  "When was the last time anyone saw him?" Jon asked.

            "About an hour ago, at the courts, with Kalasin," Gary replied.

            "Yes, I talked to them there," Alanna confirmed.  "But why such a fuss Gary?  Are you sure the Prince isn't just somewhere no one thought to check?"  
            "He had an important meeting with the Yamani ambassadors," Gary replied.  "He had promised Shinkokami he'd go and see them, and when he didn't turn up she asked Numair to look for him,"

            "Are you sure Gary," Jonathon asked.

            "Positive," the knight replied.  "I'm sorry Jon,"

            The king sat heavily in his chair.  Alanna got up and went over to put a comforting hand on his shoulders.  Jonathon smiled weakly at her.

            "Alright," he whispered.


	4. Four

Chapter Four

"Kalasin's missing too," Daine gasped as she ran into the library.  "Kit and I looked everywhere," She looked around at the sea of worried faces.  "Sorry,"

            The queen looked at her with haunted eyes.  "Where are they?" she whispered.  "Where are my children?"

            "Don't worry Mamma," Princess Lianne implored her.  "Roald and Kally are adults; they can take care of themselves.  I'm an adult too," she added as an afterthought.

            "I know that dearest," Thayet replied tiredly.  "I just wish I knew where they were," She wrapped her arms around her youngest child and held her tight.  Daine smiled and went to join Buri, Shinkokami, and Princes Jasson and Liam by the window.  All of them glanced up as the door handle moved.

            Jonathon, Alanna and Numair came in, looking tired.  Thayet stood up immediately, but faltered when she saw the expression on her husband' face.  "You couldn't find them?" she guessed.  Jonathon just nodded and dropped into the chair Gary pulled out for him.

            "We looked everywhere,"

Alanna took the seat next to the king and rested her head on the table.  "Everywhere," she agreed.  "And then some.  Unless Kally's gotten much better at hiding, which I don't doubt, they'd have to be in Cathark or further, and no one could make that trip in an hour without using magic, and there weren't any spell traces."

Thayet burst into tears and Buri moved to comfort her.  "Don't worry," she told the queen.  "Kalasin is very good at disappearing when she wants to,"

Thayet looked up suspiciously.  "Why do I get the feeling I'm not being told something?" she asked.  Buri looked away.  "Buri?"

"Once when you were pregnant with Liam, Roald and Kally disappeared for a few hours," Buri told her. "None of the palace mages could find them.  When they turned up again Roald admitted they used their magic to hide, just to see if they could, but they got lost and Kally started to cry and a black cat with purple eyes appeared and showed them the way home,"

Alanna's arm slipped from the table as she sat bolt upright.  Her face was drained was colour as she stared at Jonathon, who was looking back at her with wide eyes.

"Oh Goddess," the Lady Knight murmured.  She stood up and became aware that everyone was looking at her, and sat back down.  "Jon?" she asked, calling him by his name for the first time in public in a long while.

"Is it possible?" he asked her, rubbing tiredly at his eyes.

"I don't know," she replied.  "I never really considered the possibility, but it being Kalasin…"

"What being Kalasin?" Thayet demanded.  "What's going on?"

"My pet cat Faithful was black with purple eyes," Alanna reminded her.  "And he came to me from the Great Mother Goddess,"

Gary whistled appreciatively.  "Faithful was a gift from the Goddess," he repeated.  "Mithros!"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Thayet asked.

"I think I see," Numair interjected.  "The Cat was given to Alanna because she was one of the Goddess's chosen, and if He helps Kalasin, maybe that means she's one of the Goddess's chosen too," He looked to Alanna and Jonathon to see if he was correct.

Alanna nodded grimly.  "It makes sense,"

Thayet was crying again.  "But why does that make any difference to what's happening now?" she asked.

"The Goddess protects her chosen," Jonathon muttered.  He looked ill.

"So nothing will happen to Kally and Roald," Buri went on to assure the queen.  "The Goddess won't allow it,"

Finally Thayet seemed to find some comfort.  "Alright," she murmured.  "But where are they?"

"I don't know," Alanna told her.  "But they're safe, and that's what's really important,"

"Yes," Shinko agreed.   "And if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling a little tired.  I'm going back to my room," She stood up and walked out.

"Maybe that's a good idea for all of us," Buri suggested to Thayet.  "Come on, we'll go and see Duke Baird and ask him to give you something," The queen nodded blankly and rose to her feet.  Buri sent a quick glance to Alanna and then followed Thayet.

"Come on you three," Gary instructed Lianne, Jasson and Liam.  "Let's go and see if we can find your uncle Raoul," He ushered them out.

"I should check on the baby," Daine murmured.

"And I'd better contact George," Myles added, following her from the room.

Numair looked at Alanna and Jon.  "Can you two handle this?" he asked.  "I really should go and look some more, and I'm not too good with the Gods anyway," He rubbed his nose uncomfortably.

Alanna nodded.  "We'll be fine," she replied.  "Good luck," Numair gave her a rueful grin as he shut the door behind him.

Immediately Alanna went to her king and put her arms around him.  "They'll be ok Jon," she whispered.  "You'll see."

"I should have known," Jon muttered.

"About Kally?" Alanna asked.  "Jon, you couldn't have known unless she told you,"

"Why didn't she though?" he asked.  "She should have told me, or her mother, or someone,"

"Sire, if you'll remember, I never told anyone I was the Goddess's chosen either," Alanna pointed out.  "You just knew,"

Jon rubbed his forehead.  "I'm so tired Alanna," he whispered.  "I can't sleep more than a few hours a night, and when I wake up I'm as tired as I was when I went to bed.  I don't know if I can do this again,"

"You don't have to do anything Jon," Alanna pointed out.  "Just help me find the Goddess.  It'll be alright, I promise,"

"Alright," Jon replied.  "Let's try it," He took Alanna's hands in his own and quickly muttered the words to spell a circle of protection, closing his eyes.  Alanna followed, and the light of their combined gifts lit up the air around them.

"Goddess," Alanna whispered, and smiled as she remembered that the last time she'd spoken out like this, with her adult voice, coming from a child's body.

"Great Mother," she and Jonathon continued together.  "Dark Lady, open the Way for us," Powerful magic ran from Jonathon down into Alanna's very core, and she could feel her power flowing into him as well.  She opened her eyes and found herself surrounded by pure white light, stretching forever, with Jonathon at her side.

The Great Mother Goddess stood before them, smiling a smile that was both wonderful and terrifying.  A huge black cat stood at the Goddess's feet, and as Alanna looked about her he strolled over and demanded petting.  Alanna knelt down beside her pet and buried her face in his fur.  The cat allowed her attention for a moment and then turned to Jonathon.

"You're hopeless," he informed the king.  "You should have married her,"

"Faithful!" Alanna snapped.  "Stop that," She turned to the Goddess.  "I'm sorry to disturb you Mother," she whispered.

The Goddess smiled.  "You are not troubling me Daughter," she replied.  "I am only sorry we cannot meet more often," Her voice was not the painful screaming one that Alanna had felt on two occasions, but rather the calm soothing one that she had used the one time she spoke to Alanna in person, when she'd given the young squire a token and brought her Faithful.  Her eyes calmly glanced over both Alanna and Jonathon, and rested on the king.

"You have had a trialling reign, Your Majesty," she told him.  "I am sorry for it,"

"Please, just tell me that my children are safe," Jonathon begged her.

"They are well," she replied.  "I would not say safe, but their health is fine.  Kalasin has been scolding me for taking her brother away from his wife so close to the birth of their child.  I am indeed sorry for the timing, but there are things that must happen to ensure the passage of time continues, and they have to happen now,"

"What sort of Things?" Alanna asked suspiciously.  "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this?"

"I am truly sorry my Daughter," the Goddess replied.  "I did not want to inflict this upon you,"

"Why have Roald and Kally disappeared?" Jonathon asked.  "Where are they?"

"They have a part to play in the events that will follow, just as you do, and they must carry out a certain task.  I cannot tell you where they are, but I can promise they will be alright,"

"What events?" Alanna asked.  "And why us?  Haven't we done enough?" As she said the words she hated herself for them, for wanting everything to be simple, but she couldn't help it.

"Many years ago a mortal man made a pact with the dark forces that exist in this world," the Goddess told them.  "In exchange for immortality he set in motion a series of events designed to destroy his country and send the rest of the world into a spiral of destruction which the Gods could not stop, which would eventually led to the end of the world.  You have witnessed many of these, and indeed been the vessels more than once.  Now you must help to stop this, before it destroys your home, and everywhere else,"

"What events?" Jonathon asked.

"Firstly the destruction of the Ysandir, then the restoration of the Dominion Jewel and the defeat of its guardian, and the events that followed in Tortall.  The alliance between Emperor Ozorne of Cathark and Our sister Uusoae was another, and the rip in the veil that separates your world from that of the Gods.  More recently the actions of the Scanran king and his magician, and the marriage of a Tortallian princess to the Emporer of Cathark.  Now in the Copper Isles, Our brother Kyprioth is attempting to restore the raka royalty to their throne.  Your daughter Alianne is helping him with that," she told Alanna, who nodded slowly.  She was trying to absorb all the Goddess was telling her, but her head was spinning and she felt sick.

"I need to sit down," she whispered before she collapsed.  Jonathon caught her and held her until she regained her balance.

"Are you alright?" he asked.  Alanna nodded.

"What do we do?" she asked the Goddess.

"For now, Nothing.  Your part will not come until the end, and until then there is nothing you can do, except live.  If either of you get yourselves killed I will be very grumpy," The Goddess smiled as if she knew something they did not and then vanished, taking the light with her, and leaving Alanna and Jonathon alone in the palace library, blinking in the dim twilight.

"Do you think what she said was true?" Jonathon asked.

"She's a God! Jon; I don't really think she'd lie to us," Alanna's mind was racing.  She dropped into a chair as she considered what The Goddess had said.

_"Many years ago a mortal man made a pact with the dark forces that exist in this world…", "…Firstly the destruction of the Ysandir, then the restoration of the Dominion Jewel and the defeat of its guardian, and the events that followed in Tortall…" "…alliance between Emperor Orzone of Cathark…", "…the marriage of a Tortallan princess to the Emporer of Cathark…"_

Suddenly it all clicked into place.  Alanna's arm slipped, and knocked a book from the table.  She didn't glance at it even for a second.  "Jon," she whispered.  The king looked up at her.

"What?" he asked, looking concerned.

"Do you remember what The Goddess said?" she asked him.  "About a mortal ma who made a pact with the Dark Gods?"

Jonathon nodded.  "That isn't really something you forget in a hurry," he replied with an ironic smile.  "Why?"

"She said he exchanged immortality for setting in motion a chain of events to destroy a country and the world.  And she mentioned some of those events.  The destruction of the Ysandir, the restoration of the Dominion Jewel and the events that followed in Tortall, and twice she mentioned Cathark.  Jon, what do all those things have in common?"

Jonathon looked at her in bewilderment for a moment, and then a look of horror crossed his face.  "Roger," he whispered.  "He sent us to the Black City to fight the Ysandir, he caused the events that followed the restoration of the Dominion Jewel, and he spent a lot of time in Cathark,"

"At the University in Cathark, to be exact, where the Emperor Mage Ozorne studied.  I'll bet they knew each other, and Roger told Ozorne all about his little deal with the Darkness, and Ozorne decided he wanted a piece of it.  So he made an alliance with Chaos and opened the veil between the realms, beginning the Immortals war.  And now Kalasin is married to Ozorne's nephew, and she's carrying his child,"

She had gotten to her feet and begun pacing the room as she spoke, but now she stopped and stared at Jonathon.  "Ozorne wanted that child to be born," she told him.  "When we went to Cathark for peace talks he tried to have Kalasin marry Kadder and move to Cathark!"

Jonathon slumped down in his chair with an unintelligible moan.  Alanna quickly moved to his side.  "Don't worry," she whispered.  "The Goddess promised that it would be alright,"

"My daughter's child could be a part of the end of the world," Jonathon groaned, and then he burst into hysterical laughter.  Alanna put her arms around him and held on tight as he began to cry, and let her own tears flow.

"I guess that's what Faithful meant when he said you should have married me," she muttered.


	5. Five

Chapter Five

            "Jon please talk to me," Alanna begged.  "Tell me what's wrong," She held him at arms length, staring at eyes that refused to respond to her presence.  "Jon?" she asked again desperately.

            "Not Kally," he whispered hoarsely.  "Not my daughter.  You've already taken my mother and father, isn't that enough?  Leave my daughter alone," Alanna realised he was addressing Roger and she felt a look of intense pain appear on her face.

            "Jonathon!" she tried one more time, practically screaming at the pain she felt from him.  "Please!"

            Jonathon looked at her.  "I can't Alanna," she whispered.  "I can't do this,"

            "You don't have to Jon," she replied.  "Kally's going to be fine; she's strong,"

            "I wanted her to marry him," Jon continued, bent on his misery.  "I told her it would be good for the realm if she were to marry the ruler of one of our former enemies,"

            "Jonathon!" Alanna yelled.  "For Goodness sake stop that!"

            "How can I Alanna?  How can I not blame myself?  How can I ever face Kally again, and how do I tell Thayet?"

            Alanna put her arms around him and pulled him in close.  "You don't tell Thayet; there's no need to worry her like that.  Kally would never even think about blaming you so don't blame yourself, and you have to face her, because she's going to need you,"

            "I've made such a mess of everything," Jonathon whispered.  "First Roger, and you and Thayet, and the female knight thing, and now Kally,"

            Alanna reached out and slapped him, hard, across the face.  He stared up at her in disbelief.  "You haven't made a mess of anything, but your face and my handkerchief," Alanna told him, gesturing down at the twisted scrap of material that was lying in his lap.  Jon blinked at her blankly, and then smiled.

            "Sorry," he muttered.  "I'm good now,"

            "Good," she replied sternly.  "Now I'm going to take you to your room, and you're going to sleep, and feel better"

            Jonathon began to protest, but was stopped by a finger to his lips.  "Shh," Alanna told him.  "Rest, your papers can wait,"

            "I doubt most of the court would agree with you there Lady Knight," Jonathon noted dully.  Alanna scoffed.

            "Too bad!"

            Most of the palace had gone to their dinners by this time, so the halls were all but empty as Alanna and Jonathon wandered down to the Royal chambers.  Both of them were tired, so their pace was slow, and once they left the more public area of the palace Jonathon had to lean on Alanna for support.  They passed Raoul in the hall outside of the queen's quarters, and he told them that Buri was sitting with Thayet, and Gary and his wife had taken Liam, Jasson and Lianne.

            At the door to Jonathon's bedroom they paused for a moment.  Jonathon looked at Alanna.

            "Stay with me," he whispered.  Alanna shook her head.

            "Not now," she whispered.  "I should go and tell Buri what's happening, or an abbreviated version of what's happening anyway,"

            "I don't want to be alone right now," Jonathon pleaded.  Alanna looked into his eyes, and then nodded.

            "I'll sit with you until you fall asleep," she agreed.  Jonathon nodded.

            "Thank you,"

            Alanna sat in a chair by the window while Jonathon stripped off his outer clothes and sank onto his bed.  "Come closer," he muttered drowsily, raising one hand to beckon.  Alanna hesitantly pulled her chair in close to the bed and reached out for his hand.  Jonathon smiled at her as he took it.

            She sat still by the bed as Jon's eyes closed and his breathing slowed.  It was a long time before she was sure that he was deep enough in sleep that she could move without waking him, and even then she was reluctant to get up; the softly upholstered chair was very comfortable, and she was so tired… Alanna shook herself and stood up quickly as she disengaged her hand from his and dropped it to the bed.

Her booted feet squeaked against the floor and she glanced at Jonathon to see if it had disturbed him.  He was still fast asleep, lying on his back with his hands crossed atop his chest, as if he had been arranged for a funeral.  Alanna shivered and pushed such thoughts from her mind.  Quickly she scanned his sleeping face, and noticed a tiny red scratch on his cheek.  She realised that she must have made it with her wedding ring when she'd slapped him, and smiled ironically.  Then she felt tears well up in her eyes and blinked fiercely to remove them.

She touched her two middle fingers to her lips and then lay them gently down on Jonathon's forehead.  Murmuring, "I love you," she crept from the room, stopping to look at him once more as she leant back to close the door.  She then wiped one hand over her face and set off to the Queen's room to tell Buri what was happening.

            "Why do I get the feeling that I'm not going to like whatever you have to tell me?" the K'miri woman asked Alanna as the knight walked into Thayet's bedroom.

            "Please Buri, I'm too tired for that sort of thing right now," Alanna protested, collapsing onto a sofa beside her friend and closing her eyes.

            Buri gave her a sympathetic smile and then glanced at the queen, asleep in her bed. 'Duke Baird had to give her a sedative," she confided to Alanna.  "She was panicking.  So please tell me you've got good news,"

            Alanna opened one eye and peered at her.  "They're doing a little job for the Great Mother Goddess and Kalasin made her promise that they'd be home before Shinkokami's baby is born,"

            Buri smiled.  "Raoul always said that girl could make the gods follow her orders; now I guess he has proof,"

            Alanna returned the smile before glancing quickly at Thayet.  "I hope that news will be a comfort to her as well,"

            "Of course it will," Buri replied.  Alanna closed her eyes again.  She felt her body grow heavier and rested back against the cushions of the couch.  In the distance she could hear the sounds of swords clashing, assumedly coming from some impetuous young knights duelling outside the royal quarters in the hopes of being noticed by their sovereigns.  The light streaming through the door had softened to an orange tinged purple, signalling the coming of night, and the air had suddenly turned chill.  Alanna shivered.  Through the haze of her exhausted mind she heard Buri's voice, as if from miles away, calling her name.  She opened her mouth to answer but no words came out.  The darkness raced up to surround her.

            Alanna slipped from the sofa and fell to the floor, lifeless.  Buri fell to her knees beside the woman and turned her over, reaching out to feel for a pulse at the same time as she called out for help.  She heard feet racing along the corridor, and a moment later her husband was at her side, staring at his unconscious friend.

            "We have to take her to the infirmary," Buri muttered.  "I don't know what happened Roaul; she was just sitting there and then she passed out,"

            "I'm sure she was just a little tired," Raoul replied soothingly.  "I can't claim to ever have talked to a god, though I have been scratched by the pet of one, but from what I've heard from Alanna and Jonathon, it's a pretty intense,"

            "You're right," Buri murmured.  "But we should take her to Duke Baird anyway, to make sure she's alright,"

            Raoul nodded, then frowned, as a shadow passed over the door and blocked out the light.  A few seconds later the door opened, and Jonathon was standing there looking at his champion in horror.

            "Alanna?" he whispered.  "What happened?" his face was drawn and haggard, as if he had not sleep in weeks.  Buri realised that he was in fact leaning against the wall, unable to stand alone, and she got to her feet and walked over to him.

            "She's just tired Majesty," she told him calmly.  "Like you.  You've both had a trying day and you need to rest.  Let's go back to your room,"

            Jonathon was still looking at Alanna, but he seemed to have heard what Buri had said and nodded blankly in response.  Buri took his arm and glanced at Raoul, who'd risen to his feet with Alanna in his arms.  "I'll have Baird come and see to the king as soon as he's finished with Alanna," he promised.  Buri nodded as she led Jonathon from the room.

            As soon as the king was settled in his room Buri left him, and stepped outside to wait for her husband.  She walked up and down the corridor between the two doors, stopping and listening at each to ensure that neither monarch had wakened.  Eventually Raoul returned, bringing with him not only Duke Baird, but Gary and Kuri Taylor as well.

            The latter smiled a greeting at Buri and quickly slipped into the queen's bedroom.  Baird gave them all a curt nod and proceeded into Jonathon's room, leaving Gary with Raoul and Buri outside.  Gary smiled weakly at Buri and then settled down on one of the benches that lined the wall.  Raoul glanced at him and then put an arm out for Buri and hugged her quickly.  Buri smiled at her husband and then turned to speak to both men.

            "Alanna told me that she'd spoken with the Goddess and that Roald and Kalasin were safe, or at least I think that's what she meant; she said they were doing a job for the Goddess but they'd be home before the heir's born,"

            "Oh good," Gary commented sarcastically.  "Y'know, I think Myles was right about the gods being more trouble than they're worth; the immortals war and that fiasco in Cathark were bad enough,"

            Buri and Raoul nodded wearily.

            Alanna opened her eyes and rubbed her fist over them to clear away the sleep that had gathered there.  The walls and ceiling of the palace infirmary swam into focus and in the distance Alanna could hear the sound of Duke Baird's voice talking to his son, laughing about something.

            She couldn't remember how she'd come to be in the infirmary, or why she was there, but she had the feeling that she'd been asleep for a long time.  The sun light shining in through the window told her that it was early evening, and the palace was getting ready for the night.

            Alanna sat up in her bed and placed her feet on the floor.  The marble was cold and she immediately looked around for her boots. Shoving her feet into them was the job of only a few moments, and collecting her sword belt took only a few more.  Once she was properly outfitted Alanna made her way for the door, which nearly hit her as it opened to reveal Neal.

            "Ah, the sleeping beauty awakes," he greeted her.  "Are you hungry?"

            "How long have I been asleep?" Alanna asked him.

            "Just one day," Neal replied. "Father will be most upset; he wanted you to get at least three day's worth,"

            "Three days?" Alanna demanded incredulously.

            "Three days," Neal confirmed.  "Apparently you haven't had a proper night's sleep since before the war, and you need to make up for it," he offered her a cup of water.

            "I sleep just fine," Alanna muttered crossly as she snatched it from him.  "What on earth were you thinking, keeping me under that long?  I have things to do,"

            "Sorry mistress but no you don't," Neal informed her.  "Your husband's riding towards us as we speak, and until he gets here you do not leave the palace,"

            "What?" Alanna screeched.  "There is no way I'm staying inside for a week.  I have a million things to do,"

            "Well… don't let me stop you," Neal replied.  "I'll tell Father you were much better, though he'll scold me terribly so you'd better appreciate it.  You should go and see the king; he's in his room,"

            Alanna was already gone.

            Gary was in Jonathon's room when she arrived there, sitting by the bed holding out documents for the king to read.  Alanna stood in the doorway for a minute until they looked up and noticed her.  She scowled at Gary.

            "He should be resting," she accused.

            "He is resting," Gary replied.  "I just needed to get a few of these past him today.  They're very important,"

            Alanna looked at him as she stepped out of the doorway and pointed at it.  "Out!" she commanded.  "Now!"

Gary got to his feet and walked to the door.  "Now don't forget, he needs rest," he told Alanna as he left.  She scowled and slammed the door before going to sit in the chair that Gary had just vacated.  Jonathon looked up at her from his bed.

"They were important Alanna," he rebuked her meekly.  Alanna swatted at him with her hand.  Jon picked up a pillow.

"Care to try it Lady Knight?" he offered.  Alanna dodged as the pillow came flying at her head and retaliated before she thought about it.

"Are you suffering memory loss?" she asked, walking around to the other side of the bed and reaching for a pillow.  "Don't you remember the pillow fights we had in my squire days?"

Jonathon's hand sneaked out and captured the wrist she was leaning on, easily toppling her onto the bed beside him.

"I remember your squire days," he told her.  "I remember them quite well," he rolled over to close the distance between them.  Alanna felt a cold shiver run down her spine.

"Jon…" she began, but got no further, as she was pulled in for a quick kiss before being hit over the head with a pillow.  She gave a shriek and laughed as she collected a pillow and threw it back at him.

The black cat stood in the doorway and shook its head sadly.  "Why must humans persist with following their egos and brains instead of their hearts Mistress?" he asked.

"That is one of the great mysteries in life that not even the gods understand," the Great Mother Goddess replied.  "But look how much fun they're having pet, all the more so because it is forbidden.  Now come home please; you've done your work for the day,"

"How are the brats going?" Faithful asked.  "Do you need me to go and check on them?"

"They're fine thank you pet.  Home now please,"

"Your wish is my command Mistress," The air around him shivered and the cat disappeared, leaving behind the faint smell of fish. 


	6. Six

Chapter Six

"Kally, are you alright?" Roald's voice demanded anxiously.  "Kally?" he repeated softly.  "Kal?"

            His sister stirred in his arms and sighed deeply.  "I was having a nice nap," she informed him mock-irritably, turning to face him, her eyes still closed.  Roald raised an eyebrow and then laughed when Kalasin opened her eyes to glare at him.  "Sorry Kally," he apologized.

            "That's quite alright," she replied.  "You are controlling the horse, so I should probably be nice to you.  I don't really feel like cantering right now,"

            Roald laughed again, but this time it was forced, and he frowned slightly.  Kalasin glanced at him and then looked around them, giving her brother time to collect himself.

            "What's wrong?" she asked softly.

            "Nothing… well, it's just, I wish that it didn't have to be right now.  I want to there for Shinko when she needs me, and instead I'm riding away from her, with over a thousand miles between us,"

            "Well I did make the Goddess promise we'd be back before it's time; that's something at least,"

            "I know,"

            "And I'm sorry too.  I wish this didn't have to happen at all…

"I'm scared Roald,"

            "Me too," he replied softly.  "But don't worry Kally, I'll take care of you, I promise,"

            "I know,"

            "And everything will be alright,"

            "Someday,"

            "Yes,"

            "But not today or tomorrow, or even the day after that,"

            "No, nor the day after that,"

            "But someday,"

            "Yes,"

            She leaned back against him and closed her eyes once more.  Her breathing slowed.

            Roald leaned down and kissed her forehead gently.  "Sweet dreams," he whispered.  Kally smiled and her lips opened to form the words, "Maybe no bugs is a little too much to ask for this time," Roald laughed softly and raised his eyes to stare at the dark night sky, lost in memory.

            _The six year old boy sat up in bed and stared around him, eyes wide.  The room around him was dark, and the night was soundless, but he knew that his sister was awake, and afraid._

_Quickly he climbed out of bed, making sure to emit no sound, and crept over to her bed.  She was sitting up waiting for him and her eyes were bright with tears.  "I'm sorry," she whispered.  "Did I make a noise?"_

_"No," he replied.  "No you didn't," He reached out and put his arms around her.  "It's ok, it was just a dream; don't be scared."_

_"But, oh Roald; it was such a dream!"_

_"I know," he replied.  "Don't worry, it'll be alright,"_

_"But what if it's true?" she persisted.  "What if that's really the future?  We can't do that Roald; you know what Papa's told us,"_

_"I know," he repeated.  "Don't worry Kally; it'll be alright.  There must be a reason, if it is really the future; there must be a reason,"_

_"Are you sure?" she asked, looking at him with wide eyes._

_"I'm sure," he replied.  "And_ _don't worry Kally, I'll take care of you, I promise,"_

_She yawned.  "Alright.  G'night Roald,"_

_"Sweet dreams," he muttered.  "Don't let the bed bugs get you,"_

_She laughed and was asleep, and Roald crept back to his own bed and crept in between the covers._

"Hey, are you done dreaming yet?" Kally asked.  He glanced round in surprise, and saw that they were just coming up to the inn the Goddess had shown them.  He looked at Kalasin in surprise, and she smiled.

"Apparently my memories go faster than yours," she noted.  Roald smiled.

"Apparently," he agreed.  "Now, where do you think the stables are in this place,"

"Try to the left of the building, and follow the path," a familiar voice suggested.  Kally and Roald both turned to look at the huge black cat as it prowled out of the shadows.

"My mistress decided that checking up on you to was more important than dinner," he told them, "so you'd better find me something,"

"I think we can manage that," Kalasin laughed, sliding down form the horse and running over to him.  "I don't know what it is Faithful, but I'm always so glad to see you," she told the cat as she reached out to scratch behind his ears.

"Excuse me, but are you looking for accommodation," a timid voice asked from behind them.  Kalasin looked around, but the horse shielded whoever had spoken from her view.  She stood up slowly and heard a gasp.  The old woman who had questioned Roald was staring at her in disbelief.  Kalasin smiled and went to stand beside her brother.  The woman made a sign of the Gods over her chest as she looked at them both.  Then she let out a small scream.  Kalasin looked round to see what had startled her, and saw only Faithful, who had come to stand between herself and Roald.  She smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry to alarm you," she told the woman soothingly.  "That's just a pet cat; I know he's awfully big, but I promise he won't hurt you.  He wouldn't harm a flea,"

_"Don't bet on it Your Highness," _the Cat's voice sounded in her mind.

_"That's Majesty to you,"_ she replied in the same manner as he had addressed her.

Faithful stared up at her disdainfully.  _"I don't recognize Catharki royalty," _he told her with a sneer.  Kalasin was about to give him a sharp reply, but stopped when the crone spoke again.

"Please forgive my alarm Ma'am," she begged.  "It's just, you two look so familiar, and I could swear I've seen that cat somewhere before.  Now if you're wanting a room you can follow me and I'll find something," She turned and walked off.

Kalasin turned to look at Roald and smiled.  _"I wonder how Mother would feel if she knew we were visiting her old homeland,"_ she commented silently.  Roald grimaced.

_"Somehow I doubt she'd approve,"_ he replied, at the same time offering his arm to his sister and leading her off after their hostess.

"Would you like something to eat?" the old woman inquired politely as she unlocked the door to their room.  "We don't have too many guests this time of year, but if you like I'm sure I can have the cook make something and bring it to you,"

Kalasin looked at her, examining her face.  This one had never been a beauty; that much was plain, but now in old age her face had acquired some small measure of loveliness that comes to those who have spent their lives helping people.  She also projected a religious aura, and the sum of these things, plus their location, brought to mind some of the stories that Alanna and Buri had told her when she was young.

"Thank you; food would be wonderful," she replied.  "But if it's alright with you we'll come down and eat in the common room, and you will join us," She glanced at her brother, and felt no surprise emanating from him, which confirmed that he had made the same guess as she.

The crone nodded.  "Alright," she replied.  "Would there be anything else now?"

This time Roald answered.  "Only give us a little time to change our clothing.  We can find our way down to the room unaided," He reached for his purse and offered the woman some coins from it.  "Thank you,"

She smiled, but shook her head at the coins.  "No need for that Sir.  We are after all here to provide such services," She offered a stiff bow and then turned and walked away from them.

Kalasin collapsed onto her bed as her brother closed the door behind him.  He crossed the room to kneel by her side.  "Are you alright?" he asked.

She smiled weakly.  "Just a little tired is all,"

"Well that's rather to be expected," Faithful commented as he appeared beside them.  Kalasin glared at the Cat.

"Quiet you, or I'll forget to ask for fish with our dinner," she threatened him.  Faithful quieted.

Roald returned from the tiny privy that was attached to their room, adjusting the clean tunic he had just put on.  "Do you need to bathe, Kally?" he inquired.  "I can call for someone if you want,"

Kalasin sat up and looked at him.  "No thank you Brother," she replied.  "I'm quite alright, really," She rose and walked past him into the privy, using the dignity she had practised for Court functions.  Roald laughed and went to sit on his sister's recently vacated bed beside Faithful.  The Cat turned over and offered his belly to be scratched.  The Prince complied with the request.

"You know," he told the animal.  "Sometimes she's so like Father that I think it would have been better if she had been the first born,"

"Are you insane?" Faithful demanded.  "The last thing Tortall needs right now is another one of those Monarchs; one generation of perpetual war is more than enough,"

"I heard that," Kalasin called sternly.  Roald laughed.

"Of course you did," he retorted.  "It was about you,"

Kally stood in the doorway and glared at her brother, pouting in mock indignity.  One of her slippered feet slid out to point sideways and her hands went to her hips.  Roald laughed once more and rolled his eyes.  Kally smiled and walked over to him.  Brother and sister strolled from the room arm in arm.

The parlour of the inn was rather large and eerie, given its purpose.  Some attempts had been made to make it seem more cheerful, but still it gave the impression a place of worship and whispers.  The two young people exchanged a look, and then glanced at Faithful.  The Cat stared back at them with large purple eyes, which were meant to seem innocent but couldn't quite carry it off.  He then selected their table for them by jumping up onto one of the chairs and going to sleep there.  Kalasin and Roald settled one on each side of him.

Presently the old woman hostess stepped out to join them, bringing with her bowls of hot soup and soft bread rolls.

"Would you like some wine?" she inquired politely.  Kalasin shook her head.

"No thank you," she replied. "But please, join us,"

The crone frowned, but settled uncomfortably into another chair which Roald had pulled out for her.  He lifted his spoon and glanced at Kalasin.  The princess was stirring her soup idly and smiling at their guest.

"So, how goes things in this part of the world?" she inquired.  The old woman glanced round nervously before replying.

"Dismally," she explained.  "Since the Sarain monarchy fell over a quarter century ago little happens here, good or bad,"

"Was this place here then?" Kally asked, glancing furtively over at Roald as she spoke.

"Not as it is now Mistress.  These buildings were a monastery then.  I was a daughter here and I witnessed the flight of our kingdom's only heir; she and her companions came to us for shelter, but we were unable to provide them with safety without compromising our own; I am ashamed of that to this very day, and of how I spoke to her,"

"Why was she running?" Kalasin queried.

"Her mother was dead, and her father a mad man who had lost control of the kingdom," the crone replied.  "His enemies wanted her dead, or to be used to strengthen any ties they had to the throne through marriage,"

"Do you know what happened to her after she left you?" this time Roald spoke, joining in his sister's game.

"Well, there are rumours of course.  One story I've heard said that she went to Tortall, and married the king there.  I hope that is the truth,"

Kalasin smiled.  "Thank you," she told the woman.  "You've been most kind,"

The old crone's face broke out into a smile.  "It was my pleasure," she told them.

"Well thank you anyway," Roald replied.  "Now if you'll excuse us, Kally," She took his arm and allowed him to lead her from the room.

Kalasin lay very quiet in her bed that night.  She stared blank and unseeing at the wall on the other side of the room, and the pale beam of moonlight streaming in through the window, which had been left unshuttered at her request.

She felt sick inside, wrong and miserable.  The light hearted enjoyment she'd felt as they talked to the old woman that evening had vanished, leaving in its place a void from which she couldn't escape.  There was something wrong, that she knew was wrong, but she didn't know what it was.  This feeling was gnawing at her, and she turned constantly in the bed, unable to get comfortable, and unable to get to sleep until she was comfortable.  She felt sick and frustrated, and wanted to get up, to move, pull at her hair, and get the feeling out of her head, but she couldn't.  All she could manage was to clench her fists and tuck her knees up to her body and then straighten them, and turn over and get more hopelessly caught in the blankets.

It was a long time before her body was exhausted enough to force her into sleep and out of torment, but eventually it happened, and the moon looked in through the window and saw her delicate flesh shell lying there as if in death, and pitied the girl who's beauty held such a cold and sinister destiny.  So she sent Ganiel, the dream maker, to send a vision to the sleeping woman, like a promise of the dusk.  In its hold Kalasin found some small rest, as the Gods looked upon her in worry, wary of the times that were to come.


	7. Seven

Chapter Seven

When Alanna woke she was alone, in her bed, and the sunlight coming in through her window told her that it was early morning.  Groaning as she climbed from her bed; she had obviously been put there by someone who was hardly more awake than she, the lady knight made her way over to the window and peered out at the day.

            The sun was peering down at the world from behind a bank of clouds, and didn't look like it had much intention of moving.  A thin layer of white frost adorned the ground, clinging in patches to the trees and buildings that scrambled up over the hill on which the palace was built.  The few people who had dared to creep from the warmth of the palace were either servants or riders, and a small band of squires.  It seemed that most of the palace's populace were still abed, and Alanna couldn't blame them.

            An authoritive knock at the door brought her attention back to her own immediate surroundings, and she hurried across to open it, checking her clothing as she moved.

            The caller was Princess Lianne, who gave Alanna a sleepy sort of smile before announcing with a yawn, "Mama sent me to invite you to join us for breakfast," She hid another yawn behind her palm.

            Alanna returned the smile and nodded.  "Thank you," she replied.  "Did she wake you up just for that?"

            Lianne nodded.  "She thought it would be better than sending one of the servants," she replied, "She forgets that I have duties too, and sometimes those duties require me to stay up late at night,'

            "Well she does have a bit on her mind at the moment," Alanna reminded her.

            "I know," Lianne said.  "I'll just meet you there then?"

            Alanna nodded, and waited until the young princess was out of sight before she closed the door and turned her attention to collecting up her clothes and bathing things.  She hurried to the bathhouses and greeted the sleepy looking warden, who pointed her towards an uninhabited pool.

            Splashing in the warm water Alanna allowed herself a brief moment to collect her thoughts.  They brought her back to a day nearly thirty years ago, Jonathon's coronation, when the world had nearly literally split apart beneath her feet.  That had been the day that Duke Roger of Conte had last been seen in the realm of Tortall, the day when she had killed him, and the day she had lost her brother Thom, Faithful, and Liam Ironman, and killed her one time friend turned enemy Alexander of Tirragon.  So many others had been lost that day; Alanna couldn't even recall the total number who had died.  _But we won that day,_ she reminded herself.  _We won, and I killed Roger.  And I'll do it again if I have to; we'll win again._  Faithful's tiny body slipped from her hands; Thom's face turned grey before her eyes; Liam lay on the alter, riddled with arrows, and she heard Alex's voice whisper, _"I knew I was best,"_ before his body collapsed against her and she felt his life flee from his body.

Before her recollections could get the best of her she shook herself and climbed from the bath, letting the water slap against the sides as she did so.  She dried herself as quickly as she could, and pulled on breast-band and loincloth, then breeches and a shirt, hands trembling over the buttons.  She went outside and tried to pull her boots on, but her hands were trembling so badly that she couldn't manage to do the laces.  So she left them untied and hurried towards the dining hall as fast as she could.

             Jonathon stood up as she entered the room and motioned for her to take the seat beside him at the table.  She smiled gratefully and slid into it, nodding to Lianne and inclining her head respectfully to Thayet.  The queen returned the courtesy and then offered Alanna a warm, slightly sad smile.

            "How are you?" she asked.  "Glad to be back in the land of the living?"

            Alanna gave a small chuckle as a serving girl came out and began laying the table with breakfast.  "Not really; there's so much less to do when you're asleep,"

"Try running a country," Jonathon suggested as he arranged food on Alanna's plate.  "You'd never want to wake up again,"

            Alanna elbowed him in the stomach to regain control of her breakfast.  "You and Gary are as bad as each other," she remarked.  "I knew Alex was the only safe company in the morning,"

            Jonathon smiled, and opened his mouth to begin a retort before he realised exactly what she'd said.  Then his mouth dropped open in shock and he stared at her.  Alanna immediately looked away, glanced at Thayet and Lianne, who were chatting quietly as they sipped their coffee, then down to her lap, to her hands twisting the soft linen napkin into a tight tiny little ball of crinkled rainbows.

            "Alanna?" she heard Jon's voice and instinctively glanced up.  He was watching intently, his deep blue eyes filled with concern.

            "Sorry," she began. "I was just a little distracted,"

            Jonathon's brow furrowed and he frowned.  "Alright," he conceded.  "Do you want coffee?"

            She nodded and took a bite from her plate, knowing that if she didn't, Jonathon would begin to push her, and she wasn't confident in her ability to resist him.  He nodded as if to acknowledge that he'd moved on, and returned to his own breakfast.  Alanna pushed her food around her plate for a minute and then did the same.

"What are your plans for the day Lady Alanna?" Thayet inquired politely as the last servants passed out of the room.  Alanna glanced up from her food and swallowed.

"I don't have any," she replied with a shake of her head.

Thayet smiled.  "Wonderful," she replied.  "Because we were just thinking…"

Lianne coughed and wrinkled her forehead.  Thayet glanced at her daughter and laughed.  "Alright then, I was thinking," she corrected herself.  Lianne nodded vigorously.

"It's been a long time since we did anything for the female servants with regard to personal safety, so since you're here, maybe we could organise a workshop of some kind, to teach them how to protect themselves.  I'm sure we could get Eda to help, and Buri, Onua, maybe some of the female riders.  Please," she pleaded.  "It'll be fun,"

Alanna had to laugh at her friend's enthusiasm.  "Alright," she agreed.  "Why not?"

"I can think of several reasons," Lianne muttered under her breath.   Both Alanna and Thayet laughed, and Alanna caught a small amused smile on Jonathon's face when she glanced at him.

            "Well you ladies have fun," he told them.  "I'll see you later," he rose from the table and nodded toward them before he left.  Thayet smiled.

            "Excellent," she announced happily.  "Let's get started."  Alanna smiled at her enthusiasm and elbowed Lianne gently in the side.

            "Do this for your mother," she whispered.  "Please."  Lianne looked at her for a moment, puzzled, and then glanced at Thayet, who was talking quietly to a maid, gesturing with her hands as she did so.  She looked relaxed and almost happy.  Lianne looked at Alanna again and nodded.

            "Alright," she muttered.

            Alanna spent the next three days with Thayet, Lianne, Buri, Daine, and some of the rider women, as well as a large group of the female servants, working through basic self defence moves.  Alanna relished the chance to train with competent women again, and time spent fighting was time that couldn't be spent thinking.  So she put her self whole heartedly into the work, and each night fell asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow.  If she dreamed at all, she didn't remember, and neither Faithful nor the Goddess gave any sign of their presence.

            Around noon on the forth day Alanna looked up at the sound of hooves clattering into the stables courtyard.  She took a great shuddering breath and stood up, fending off the urge to turn and run in the opposite direction.  She saw Thayet glance at her, and the queen smiled and inclined her head in the direction of the stables.  Alanna nodded, and then closed her eyes after Thayet looked away, and wiped her sweaty hands on her breeches.  As a prisoner walking to her doom, Alanna got to her feet and walked towards the stables.

            As she entered the stables she heard the sound of voices laughing.  George was talking to Stephan as the ostler unsaddled his horse.  Alanna leaned against the stable door and took a deep breath, trying to look nonchalant.

            "It's nice to catch up with your friends, I'm sure," she noted.  "But don't you think you should try and find your wife?"

            George looked up and a boyish smile spread across his face.  "I woulda gotten round to it eventually," he muttered softly.  Alanna tried to smile back and fought the urge to vomit as George strode to where she stood and swept her up in his arms.

"Hello Lady-Love," he whispered in her ear.  Alanna tightened her arms around his neck and looked up at his face, and the green eyes smiling down at her.

"Did y' miss me?" George asked seriously.  Alanna glared at him.

"Why would I be doing something stupid like that?" she demanded.

George looked down and the kissed her.  "Because you love me," he replied, grinning impishly.  Alanna felt her heart swell and then contract as emotions rushed through her.  She realised George was looking at her expectantly and smiled.

"Of course I do," she replied, with a twinge of guilt at this concealing truth.  She leaned against George's chest to hide her face.  His comforting arms encircled her and she felt herself relax in spite of herself.  "I love you George," she muttered, using easy words that drifted off her tongue from years of use.

"I love you too Lady Knight," her husband replied.  "And I'd love nothing more than stay here like this for the rest of the day, except perhaps for going to your bedroom and having a well earned rest…" he raised his eyebrows suggestively, "but, I have some information for the king and your father that they really need to hear,"

Alanna sighed.  "Does it have to be now?" she asked.  George nodded.

"I'm afraid so," he confirmed, and then lifted her chin to kiss her briefly.  Alanna frowned.

"Well then, if it has to be, you should go and have a bath first.  You're all sweaty.  I'll go and find Jonathon and Myles and get you some food and meet you back at our rooms."

George nodded.  "Alright," Kissing her one last time he made his way out of the stables.

Alanna wiped the back of her hand across her eyes.  Then, after looking around for Stephan, she too left the stables.

"Jonathon," she called out as she climbed the last few stairs up onto the wall.  "Jon?"


	8. Eight

Chapter Eight

The freezing wind was biting into her sides; she could hardly see through the swirling mists of hail, and the snow had soaked through her mittens and boots and her outer layer of clothing, causing her to shiver uncontrollably.  But she really didn't care about any of that; it was a good distraction from the feeling of dread that had settled over her soul to whisper it's evil promises in her mind's ear.  Its constant chattering was threatening to drive her over the edge of sanity, and it was only the occasional puff of snow that was driven into her face from her brother's boot above her that kept her climbing.

            They could see the cave now, a patch of deeper shadow in the face of the hill above them.  Roald had roped himself to Kalasin hours before, but now he could feel her weight beginning to lean onto it, meaning that she was tiring.  Roald cursed and glanced below him.  He was separated from Kally by about five metres, and behind her he could see the mountain stretching back down for miles, sharply sloping away from them.  Roald knew that if both he and his sister made it back down without breaking anything it would be a miracle.

            _"You'll be fine,"_ the strange voice echoed in his head.  _"Do not worry my son.  I know it may not seem like it, but the gods are here with you,"_

            Roald glanced down at Kalasin again, and saw again in her face the frightening blank look that he'd noticed her wearing after the left the inn with the old nun.  He looked away again quickly before she saw him looking, and concerntrated on the shadow in front of him that represented the end of one stage of their journey.  It was closer than he'd expected.

            "Kally," he called back.  "We're almost there Kally,"

            She didn't reply, which worried him.  "Kally?" he called again.

            "I'm here," her faint reply echoed up to him.  "Keep climbing Roald.  We'll be there soon,"

            There was something not entirely right with her voice, something vaguely different from the way things should be.  Roald pushed the warnings in his head aside and focused on climbing.  Quite suddenly the snow fell out in front of him and he fell into the mouth of the cave.  There was a cry from below him, which he vaguely heard, and then the sound of Kally scrambling up the last of the distance between her and the cave.

            As soon as she entered the cave her hands fell to the knots that bound their rope around her waist.  She wrestled with it for a few moments, but the knot was too tight; it had carried weight for too long, and it would not come undone for her.  So she left it, and just collapsed on her knees beside Roald, breathing in choked sobs.

            "Are you alright?" she demanded with an effort.  Roald raised his head so as to nod, and then rolled over onto his back.

            "We made it Kally," he said.  "We got here," He closed his eyes.

            Kalasin looked at him.  "No Roald," she replied.  "We're far from making it," He didn't answer.  "Roald?" she said quietly.  "Not now, you can't sleep now.  We have to do what we came here for, and then leave.  You can't sleep here Roald; this place is evil,"

            He opened his eyes and sat up with a sigh.  "I thought you didn't believe in evil," he muttered grumpily.

            "I'm not going to argue with you Roald, not here.  Now eat please," An indistinguishable piece of food was shoved towards him.  He removed one mitten and put it in his mouth.  He chewed for a minute and then looked up at Kalasin reproachfully.

            "Warn me next time, please.  What is it?"

Kally grimaced.  "I think you'd be happier if you didn't know," Roald glared at her.  "You're a knight Roald; you've eaten terrible food before,"  
            "I know that," he spat back, "but you can cook, and I never suspected my own sister would try to poison me,"

Kalasin began to laugh wildly.  "If that's truly the case brother mine, then I think you have neither brains nor memory, but don't blame me for the food.  I already told you, this place is evil,"

Roald chewed thoughtfully.  Kalasin sat on the ground next to him tearing her own food into tiny pieces.  Roald let her scatter about half of it on the floor of the cave before commenting, "I know you don't want to know it, but you do need to eat sometime,"

"I know; I will, not now," Kally told him.  "Are you finished yet?"  He nodded.  She stood up.  Roald followed suit.  He went to reach for her hand but she turned away and walked off into the blackness without him.

_"Well,"_ Faithful's god voice demanded of him.  _"Are you going to follow her or just stand here doing nothing?  And personally, because I fear my mistress's wrath, I would recommend option A,"_

Roald just looked up at the roof of the cave and then followed his sister, muttering a fire spell as a light-providing afterthought.

She blinked once as the fire lit up the cave around her.  Roald appeared by her side holding a small torch in one hand.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"I don't know exactly," she replied, "But it's here, and that's enough; We'll find it,"

            "And then…"

            "We'll do what we came to do,"

            Roald looked at her.  "Alright…"

            "I know; I will, not now," Kally told him.  "Are you finished yet?"  He nodded.  She stood up.  Roald followed suit.  He went to reach for her hand but she turned away and walked off into the blackness without him.

_"Well,"_ Faithful's god voice demanded of him.  _"Are you going to follow her or just stand here doing nothing?  And personally, because I fear my mistress's wrath, I would recommend option A,"_

Roald just looked up at the roof of the cave and then followed his sister, muttering a fire spell as a light-providing afterthought.

She blinked once as the fire lit up the cave around her.  Roald appeared by her side holding a small torch in one hand.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"I don't know exactly," she replied, "But it's here, and that's enough; We'll find it,"

            "And then…"

            "We'll do what we came to do,"

            Roald looked at her.  "Alright…"

            In the middle of the chamber an immense stone slab rose out of the ground.  A mist clung to this alter, hiding whatever lay on it from view.  Roald stared at it for a moment, and then turned to catch Kalasin, who was collapsing next to him.  He knelt down on the floor next to her and captured her face in his hands.  Piercing blue eyes stared back at him, but they were not those of his sister, and when she spoke her voice was raspy and unnatural.

            "This is where the end begins and all else ends," it told him.  "Here is your last choice, the last choice.  You can still turn from this path, but if you do your gods will lose all power to affect what may follow, and all that will happen is a repeat of what has happened before and everything must be lost so that everything will stay the same,"

            Roald looked around him.  In the end his eyes settled on the pale alter and the body that lay atop it, revealed by a part in the mist.  It seemed to him that the distance between them was vanquished and he was staring down at the dead face that had been taught to him as the very incarnation of what was evil, though the resemblance it shared with his father, and sister, was so strong that it frightened him.

            "There is no choice," he whispered.

            Kalasin stood up.  "No there's not," she agreed.  Roald zoomed back into his skin in time to stop it from jumping back in shock.

            "Are you going to help me?" he heard his sister ask.  She was already kneeling over the body.

            Roald didn't speak, just moved to her side and reached out for her hand.  She gripped it tightly and looked at him.

            "I'm scared, just so you know," she said.  Roald nodded.  Kally closed her eyes and bit her lip, and reached out towards the body, tears beginning to flow from her closed eyes.

            "I'm so sorry," she whispered as Roald felt energy begin to flow from her body into that of the corpse.  He unconsciously twitched in anger at this thing that had made Kalasin cry, and reached out to protect her with both arms, adding his magic to hers, even though he wasn't a healer.

Kalasin began to whisper a spell and the rush of power got stronger, and stronger, until all their magic was gone and the power had to come from another source.

            "Well and here I thought I was bringing news," George whistled.  "But the prince and princess being missin', and all this talk of apocalypse with the Gods, not to mention that damn cat being back, that's quite the tale, begging your Majesty's pardon,"

            Jonathon smiled.  "I should have known you'd make this all seem less terrible George," he said.  "I feel better already and you've hardly been here an hour,"

            Alanna glanced up at the king from under her lashes.  His eyes flickered onto hers for a split second, before turning back to her husband.  "So what was it you had to tell us anyway?" he asked.

            "Nothing of importance Majesty," George replied, and Alanna could have sworn that his eyes flickered over her too.  Hairs rose on the back of her neck, sensing that there was something being hidden from her.  "Just some reports on the Scanrans, that sort of thing,"

            Alanna got to her feet.  "George," she demanded.  "What is going on?"

            George's eyebrows rose.  "And what makes my lovely wife think that all of the king's news is necessarily her news too?" he queried lightly.  Alanna glared.

            "If the king's news includes information on her daughter it most definitely concerns her too!" she snapped.

            A sudden exclamation of "Aly?" from outside turned her attention to the door.  George sprang to his feet and reached out for the handle, then stepped outside.

            "Your Highness," he noted, ushering Lianne inside with the back of his hand.  The princess bowed to her father and then looked around sheepishly.

            "Mama wanted to know if you needed anything," she explained.  "I was just…"

            Alanna looked at Jon and saw that he was smiling.  "It's alright Lianne," he told his daughter.  "No harm done," Lianne gave a sort of half nod and then ran to embrace her father.  Jon smiled.  "And you can tell your mother we don't require anything, except for her presence if possible.  And you could go and find your cousins to tell them their father is here,"

            Lianne bowed again, smiled at George, Alanna and Myles, and turned to go.  Suddenly she stopped, and shrieked as a noise that wasn't really a noise echoed through the room.  Myles looked around in confusion; it had only affected him a very little bit, but the rest of them, all possessing the Gift, felt some massive warping in something they were hardly aware of most of the time.

            Alanna sank down onto her chair, aware that her knees were about to give way.  She could hear George cursing, Lianne crying, and Myles asking her what was wrong.  She became aware of Jon's eyes on her face, and opened hers to look at him.  He had Lianne in his arms, and was absently brushing back her hair with one hand.  His skin was coated in a light sweat.  Alanna looked away from him and ran a hand through her own hair.

            "Faithful?" she called, instinctively looking up.  "Faithful?"

            "You called?" a feline voice inquired, and Alanna saw the black cat materialising by the table.

            "What was that?" Alanna demanded.  "What just happened?"

            Faithful rolled his eyes.  Something that nosy little mortals don't need to concern themselves with," he replied.  George made a soft growling sound in the back of his throat.

            "But Faithful," Alanna continued, putting a hand out to quiet her husband, "the last time that happened…" she trailed off.

            "The veil between the worlds vanished," Jonathon finished.  He glanced up at the door, where Numair had just appeared.

            "What was that?" the mage demanded.

            Alanna looked at Jonathon.  "We don't know," she answered simply.

            "What did we do?" Kalasin whispered, crying as Roald pulled her away from the now living body of Roger of Conte.  He just hugged her fiercely, fighting the urge to cry as well.

            _"You have done your part,"_ a voice announced.  The sound of feet padding across the chamber preceded the appearance of a large ape creature, carrying a black iron sword.  Roald frowned and gripped Kalasin tighter.  His action dragged her back into consciousness and she looked up at the monkey.  Then she turned to see Roald's face.

            "Chitral," she said happily.  Roald's frown deepened, wondering if she had turned simple, before he remembered one of the stories they'd been told in their youth, about Alanna when she rescued the Dominion Jewel.  Chitral was the elemental creature she had fought to prove her worthiness.  Alanna had said that he had worn the form of a rock ape for their fight.

            "Yes," the ape thing told them.  "That's the name I wore when I walked here last,"

            "What do you want with us?" Roald demanded.

            "For the purposes of this game your Gods cannot come here, and nor can their adversaries.  So I am here in their place to tell you that you have completed the task set to you," Chitral explained.

            Roald looked from him to Roger, still unconscious, to Kally, twisting one of her mittens in her hands.  He nudged her gently.

"You ok Kally?" She smiled up at him.

"Mhmm," she replied lazily.

"Good,"

Chitral interrupted them then.  "You must go now," he glanced at Roger.  "Before he awakes.  Return to your home immediately," His tone was dangerous.

Roald got to his feet and lifted Kally so she stood by him.  She looked at him quizzically and then held her twisted mitten up.  Roald raised his eyebrows and led the way back to the entrance of the cave.  Kally followed him, pulling her mittens back onto her hands and her hood onto her head.

They walked down the mountain side by side. The chill wind that had gotten stronger and stronger the closer they got to the cave had abated, and the snow had stopped.  Neither of them spoke; they were too busy concentrating on where their feet were going.

When they found themselves outside an inn Roald roused himself from the half stupor he'd dropped into and tugged on Kalasin's hand.  She nodded without even looking at him and followed him into the inn.


	9. Nine

Chapter Nine

"Kally?" Roald knocked at the door to her room.  "Can I come in?"

            She was half asleep, curled up in a ball with a pillow in her arms like a safety blanket or Thom's teddy bear.  At the sound of his voice she started a little, and tried to answer him but couldn't make her mouth work.  A little choking sound came from her, but no words, and she didn't really want to speak anyway.

            She got to her feet and padded silently over to the door.  When she opened it Roald gave her the frown that was so characteristic of him and she managed a small smile.  She let go of the door handle so that she could wave at him without letting go of her pillow, and that made him smile.

            "Can I come in?" he asked.  "I have food.  The innkeeper said it was alright as long as we didn't make a mess,"

            Kalasin smiled.  "I thought you didn't like charming people," she said, accidentally breaking her protective silence.

            "I don't and I didn't.  That remains firmly in your department of deviousness.  Someone recognized me,"

            "Oh," She stepped aside to let him in.  He placed the tray on the table and sat down on one of the chairs.  She returned to her bed and sat with the pillow between her feet.

            "Are you going to keep that?" he demanded.  She glanced down.

            "Yes,"

            He knew better than to say anything so he just raised one eyebrow and changed the subject.  "Are you going to eat?"

            "Do I have a choice?" she shot back.

            "Eat now please," he retorted.  She glared, but took the offered soup.

            Roald didn't comment on the way she ate.  He didn't tell her that it was unhealthy, or that she should be more careful.  He knew she knew and now wasn't the time for elder brother nagging.

            And he waited until she'd eaten half the bowl before he started to talk, because he knew that when she started to talk the eating would stop.

            "Are you ok Kally?" he asked softly.  She handed the bowl of soup to him and looked away.

            "Can I not answer that question right now please?"

            He didn't say anything.

            "I'm sorry Roald, that I was so, different in that cave.  I had more magic than I could handle, and I was frightened,"

            "What do you mean, more magic than you could handle?"

            "Didn't you even notice?  The gods were putting their power into us all the time we were walking up that mountain.  They couldn't interfere once we were in the cave, like Chital told us, but they gave us power beforehand so we'd have enough of our own left to get back here,"

            There was a silence.  "He saved me, Chitral I mean.  Before he came I was about to panic, break down, but he did something to stop it happening.  Were you wondering about that?"

            "Kally,"

            "I just thought you should know that, in case you were confused,"

            "Kally, are you going to shut up any time soon?" he demanded suddenly.

            His voice hadn't been that loud, or threatening, but it startled her.  She twitched, and jumped back, instantly silent, staring at him with large and frightened eyes.  Her brother was surprised, and stepped back himself.

            "Kally, I'm sorry," he began.  "I didn't mean to scare you," He moved forward again, and reached out to take her in his arms.  She brushed his hands away, shaking her head.

            "Please don't touch me Roald," she pleaded.  "I'm alright.  I'm sorry I was frightened, but it's better now, and I'm sorry.  I just don't want to be touched right now,"

            Roald nodded and stepped away.  "So you'll let the pillow comfort you but not me," he noted, trying not to sound so bitter and failing miserably.  Kalasin winced and he took an apologetic step towards her.

            "I'm sorry Kally," he said.  "I didn't mean that the way it came out, and I'm tired, and you probably are too, so I'll go now.  I'll see you in the morning; please at least try to get some sleep,"

            She nodded, managed half a smile, and saluted sarcastically.  Roald's eyes widened in relief as he closed the door behind him.  He made his way down the hall to his own room and sleep.

After he was gone she sank down onto her bed and resumed her ball position, one edge of the pillow under her head to catch her tears.

"Faithful why can't you tell me what's going on?" Alanna asked.

"Primarily because it's against the rules," the cat told her.  "But also because you really wouldn't like it,"

"Please," Alanna tried.

"No," Faithful repeated.

"But…" he cut her off.  "Don't you think you should feed yourself, not to mention me, sometime,"

Alanna smiled and rolled her eyes.  "You've already charmed the kitchen staff.  Just go and get your own food,"

"Are you going to go and see his Majesty?" Faithful asked suggestively.

Alanna whipped round and stared at him.  "Faithfu…" she began to shriek, before she remembered that most people didn't understand Faithful when he spoke most of the time.  She knelt down next to the cat and absently scratched behind his ears.

"Please don't do that Faithful," she whispered.  "Not at the moment.  When whatever's going on right now is over, then you can scold me all you want, but not now, not until Kally and Roald are safe, and everything's alright again, please," She stood up and walked away.

Faithful had been peering up at her, but at her last words he looked away.  "That's never going to happen," he murmured quietly, too low for Alanna to hear.  He shook himself out and disappeared.

"Alanna?" Thayet called out to her.  Alanna stopped and waited for the queen to catch her.

"Are you alright?" Thayet asked.  "You look a bit pale,"

"I was just talking to Faithful," Alanna explained.  "Some of the things he had to say were a little disturbing," she blinked nervously.

"Anything that concerns me?" Thayet asked.  Alanna shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Thayet asked.  When Alanna nodded she smiled and continued speaking.  "I was just going to visit Shinkokami; Would you like to come?"

Alanna nodded.  "How is she?" she inquired.  "I haven't seen her since the day I arrived,"

"Yes, she's stayed in her quarters mostly.  She's anxious for Roald to get back, probably even more than I am,"

Alanna smiled.  "For good reason I'd say," she guessed.

Thayet nodded.  "Very good.  She's very persistent about waiting till he gets back.  I don't know how she can stand it personally,"

"I can understand it," Alanna replied softly.  "But I pity her that she has to do it,"

"If he doesn't get back, if they don't get back…" Thayet said.  "Shinko wants to ask you to be there, instead of Kalasin," She smiled.  "Would you?"

Alanna smiled.  "It won't come to that," she replied confidently.

"But you will, if it does?" Thayet asked.

"Of course I will," Alanna replied.  Then, after a moment of silence, she continued. "What about you? Are you alright?"

Thayet rubbed a hand across her eyes.  "They've been giving me things to help me sleep, but it doesn't seem to work.  I'm worried about them Alanna.  My babies are out there on their own and I don't know where or why," she exhaled loudly.  "Jonathon keeps saying they're not alone, but I find that so hard to believe.  I know, the Gods are watching them, but I don't know the Gods, and…"

Alanna smiled at her.  "Aly was missing for a long while," she remembered.  "And I had no idea where she was or what she was doing either.  But George found her, and she was just fine.  They will be too,"

"I hope you're right," Thayet replied.  Alanna smiled and put an arm around her friend.

"Of course I am,"

Thayet looked at her dubiously.  "I would have been more inclined to believe you if you hadn't done that," she told her.  "You never hug people,"

"That's as maybe," Alanna replied somewhat snappishly.  "But the Goddess promised that they'd be back, and so they will be,"

Thayet shook her head.  "I hope so," she replied.

"Mother?" Thom's voice interrupted their conversation.  Alanna turned to see her son running towards them, his robe flapping about him in an academic frenzy.  For a moment he looked so like the uncle after who he had been named after that  Alanna felt something reminisint of physical pain.  She shook the feeling off.

 Thayet smiled.

"I'll tell Shinko you agreed," she told Alanna, who nodded

"I will go and see her sometime," she agreed. "But I've been a terribly negligent mother since I got here so I should probably try and make up for it,"

"He could have found you and he didn't," Thayet pointed out.

"But he's my son," Alanna whined.  Thayet laughed.

"I swear," she said, "You and guilt,"

Alanna glared, and then stopped as Thom reached them and picked her up and hugged her.  "Put me down," she commanded, laughing in spite of herself.

"Yes do," Thayet told her godson.  "And apologize to her for not seeking her out earlier.  "She's been here nearly a week,"

Thom set his laughing mother on the ground and turned to the queen with a deep mocking bow.  "Sorry your Majesty," he told her.  "I've been busy,"

"You're always busy," another voice broke in, preceding the appearance of George, Jonathon and Lianne.  The princess had been the one to speak, and after they had all gathered she continued, smiling cheekily up at her father.  "Do I still have to find him?" she asked.  Jonathon ruffled her hair and the others laughed.  Lianne blushed.

"So how are your studies going?" Jonathon asked Thom.

"Well enough," the young mage replied.  "I recently translated a document brought back from what is now the Copper Isles over a millennia ago.  I was planning to send a copy to Alianne, after I've determined the potency of the spell it includes,"

            Alanna sent Jonathon a look promising hell to pay and turned to her son.  "And what is this spell about exactly?" she asked.

            Thom gave her an indulgent smile.  "Don't worry Mother," he told her.  "I'll check it very thoroughly.  I wouldn't send Aly anything dangerous,"

            "You're not going to send Aly anything at all," George told him.  "It absolutely will not do for her to receive anything that could draw attention to her.  She's deeply undercover, and the wrong kind of attention could be dangerous,"

            Thayet reached out for Alanna's arm as the knight stepped towards her husband.

            "We were going to see princess Shinkokami," the queen reminded her.

            "How long will that take?" George asked.  "I'd sorta hoped that my family could have some time together, as a family, while we were all here.  'Course it would be nicer if we could all be together at our home, but still…"

            "Well why don't the ladies have their visit with the princess," Jonathon suggested, "And Thom and Lianne can find their respective brothers, then we can all have dinner together, because I know your wife won't eat otherwise, and then you can have your family time,"

            Lianne looked interested suddenly.  "That's a wonderful idea," she commented enthusiastically.  "Come along Thom; I'm sure I know where Alan and my brothers are," She led him away.

            Alanna glanced after them, and then at Jonathon.  He smiled gently, and turned away.  Alanna felt Thayet's hand on her arm and nodded.  She and the queen headed for Shinko's rooms, leaving their men folk talking in hushed whispers.

            Princess Shinkokami sat up as they entered the room, making an attempt to smile.

            "It's alright Shinko.  Relax," Thayet told her, reaching out and snagging a chair and pulling it over to the bed.  Alanna placed a hand over the princess's forehead to determine the young woman's condition for herself.  She wasn't reassured.

            "I don't need to tell you you should be resting more," she said.  Shinko nodded.

            "I can't help it," she explained softly.  "I miss him,"

Alanna smiled at her first, and then at Thayet.  The queen took her cue.

"Of course you do," she agreed.  "I'd be concerned if you didn't.  But you need to make sure you take care of yourself, for his sake if not for your own,"

Alanna let the small rush of power flow into Shinko.  The princess's body relaxed back into the pillows immediately, deep asleep.  Thayet glanced up at Alanna.

"That wasn't very fair," she informed her.  "I hate when people do it to me,"

"It's better than being drugged," Alanna pointed out, thinking of the night before her ordeal when George had drugged her brandy to make her sleep.

"I wouldn't know," Thayet answered.

"Well shall we go and find the men then?" Alanna suggested.

Shinko's face filled his sleep, smiling kindly down upon him.  "Roald," she whispered.  He reached out to touch her face.  She kissed his fingers.  "When are you coming back to me?" she asked.

"Shinko," he whispered.  Her smile widened.

"Come back Roald," she whispered.

She knew the instant he woke and began to move.  Her body tensed, but then the sounds dyed down again and she relaxed.  Then his footfalls sounded in the hall and she sat up.  He knocked on her door and then entered.

"I've spoken to the innkeeper and gotten us a horse and some food," he told her.  "So we can go as soon as you're ready.  Do you need anything?"

She smiled.  "A little privacy so I can get dressed and I'll be ready to go," she told him.  Roald nodded and hurried from the room.  She climbed from her bed and went to the window, staring up at the mountain.  She shook her head and turned back to her clothes.

Roald was in a hurry, but still thorough, forcing her to eat something before they left the inn and checking to make sure she was alright every so often.  They went quicker no that they had two horses, but even with that she suspected that they were covering the distance much faster than they should have.  Roald didn't notice it; he didn't even notice the sky changing colour until it began to get cold.  Then it was only reluctantly that he stopped, and only for thought of Kalasin, who simply rolled her eyes and told him, "I'm alright," He didn't believe her.


	10. Ten

Chapter Ten

Alanna sat in her room, trying to read, and to ignore the dark feeling that had settled around her heart like an unwelcome blanket.  She was alone for the moment, as George had ridden out of the city that morning for a meeting with one of his agents.  He had kissed her good bye as she lay half asleep in their bed, and left a note detailing his plan for her to read when she was properly awake and more agreeable, or at least less bear like.

He knew her so well, her hate of mornings and habit of not sleeping enough so she didn't have to face them.  It was why, or partly why, she loved him; he knew her peculiarities and her habits, all her little quirks down to the most minor.  But he didn't understand her, so she couldn't truly be in love with him.  Alanna had only ever been in love with one person, and that was Jonathon, and there was only one person other than her brother and Jon to ever come close to understanding her, and she'd never had the chance to fall in love with him.

"Jon?" she asked as he entered her room suddenly.  "What's wrong?"

Jonathon smiled at her in a surprised sort of way, as if his attention was only half on her.  Alanna frowned and then nodded as she glanced out the window and saw the sun.

"Don't you usually lock yourself in an office for this?" she asked.  Jonathon blinked a couple of times and then his face cleared and he smiled at her.

"Kally… she… was there.  Sort of. I don't really know, but they're alright, and on there way home,"

Alanna spent a few seconds on delight at the later part of his statement and then turned her attention to the earlier part.  "Kally?" she asked.  "As in your daughter Kalasin who has never ever in her life communed with the voice because she is the closest person ever?"

Jonathon frowned.  "It wasn't exactly the same as normal communing," he explained.  "I can't explain to you properly because you've never done it, but her voice was there, not her mind, which is what usually happens,"

Alanna chose to ignore is jibe at her choice not to participate in that particular Bazhir ritual, and concerntrated on what he'd told her.

"I'm glad Jon," she said.

He smiled.  "So am I," he stepped forward and reached out for her, pulling her close to him.  She snuggled under his chin.

"Where's George?" he asked.

"Meeting an agent at Trebond," she replied.  "He left me a note this morning.  He'll be back tomorrow evening, probably," She looked up at him from under her lashes.  He had a mysterious half smile on his face.

"Well then, maybe we should make the most of the time we have now because no one ever interrupts me at this time of night," he suggested.  Alanna smiled back at him.

"Maybe we should," she replied, her smile changing into an impish grin.  Jonathon laughed, and then tilted her chin up and kissed her.  She put her arms around his neck and kissed him back, allowing him to pick her up and carry her towards her bed chamber.

"I love you," he mumbled against her lips as he laid her out on the bed.  She knew, and that was all that mattered to her.  Wrong was a word that could wait for another day.

_The same dream coming again, after fifteen years.  It was just the same, the same as it had been when she was six.  The faces, some which she knew, some which she didn't; faces from her father's past; ghosts of those who were gone, talking to her, telling her things that she didn't want to know and reading out the frightening lines of time.  Then the fire, springing from a woman's eyes and surrounding her, and light, orange and purple and dark bluey-black._

_And then darkness, and the faint shape of a room._

_The room was full of shadows as Alanna waited there.  She heard someone beside her start and turned.  Kalasin, hooded and cloaked, carrying a child in her arms, stared at her with frightening blue eyes.  "It is time," she whispered._

_The clank of metal overwhelmed the echo of her voice, and thousands of armour clad feet marched over the sand._

_Heat poured down upon the desert, and the army that waited there, stretching out over miles and miles.  Their enemy came upon them, dark and angry, and battle became a reality._

_One by one her companions fell away from her as she fought; Gary, Raoul, Coram, Myles, her children, Alan and Thom and Alianne, Daine, Buri, Thayet, and lastly George._

_She felt something pulling her, drawing her inexorably closer to something, or someone.  She fought for it though she didn't even know what it was._

_Alex stood before her, holding her sword Lightening in his hand._

_"Take it," he whispered.  She slid her blade into his chest and took Lightening from his hand as he fell._

_Roger smiled triumphantly, seeming to tower over her.  Distantly she heard a voice speaking urgently, and she tried to hear what he was saying._

_Jonathon reached out for her hand.  "I'm scared," he whispered.  She gripped his hand tightly.  "Me too,"_

_Fire, and a light, shining purple and blue, and a somehow orange tinged darkness.  Then everything vanished and all that was left was Jonathon's eyes staring into hers._

_"Alanna," he whispered._

"Alanna?"

She sobbed and pulled him towards her, clinging frantically.  He held her head close to his chest, his fingers pulling the hair up to touch the skin.  She held him fiercely and choked as she tried to stop the tears that flowed down her cheeks in rivers.

"No Jon," she whispered finally.  "No,"

He just held her tighter until she fell into an exhausted sleep.  Then he got up and organised the blankets over her, brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead.  He locked the door from the inside as he left, walking towards the library.

Alanna was roused by a strong sick feeling in her gut.  She scrambled out of her bed and stumbled into the privy, where she lost whatever little remained in her stomach from the day before's breakfast.  That got rid of the sick feeling in her stomach, but did nothing for the one that hung over her heart.  It was strange that something so completely out of place could do what it had to her, but she was frightened now, miserable, and not just vaguely uneasy as she had been before.  And she couldn't get the images of her vision out of her head.  It was as if they had burrowed themselves right into the area of her brain that controlled her vision, so she could see nothing else.  The idea of using a hammer and stake of some kind to drive the images from her mind was fairly tempting.  It was haunting her actually.  Her breath started to come more raggedly and her hands ran over her skin and through her hair.  She began to rock to and fro, and then got to her feet and stumbled from the room.

Jonathon found her, kneeling beside Alex's grave on Traitor's hill.  She had removed the moss that was growing over the tombstone and found some vaguely flower like things to place at its base.  Her hands and head formed a pyramid on the dark earth, and the grass which had grown over the grave had been ripped out.  The king bent down on this and rested one hand on her head.

"Do you want to talk?" he asked.  She didn't reply, so he settled himself more comfortably on the earth beside her and looked up at the tombstone of his former friend.  After a while he glanced down at Alanna again.

"George is back," he remarked conversationally.  Alanna seemed to suddenly awake to his presence and jerked away from his hand.  He allowed it and then continued.

"Alanna what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I killed him," she replied.  "I thought it would be fitting,"

He didn't ask what would be fitting.  "People were worried you know," he told her, knowing that she wouldn't really hear anything he was saying, but he was expected to say something.

"He did this you know," she continued.  "It wasn't Alex; it was him.  This was what he took away from us, the worst thing he ever did,"

"You should eat something," he said.

"I hate him," she informed him, removing her head from the earth and looking him square in the face.  She had dirt on her forehead, and he reached out to brush it away, but she shied back.

"You have dirt on your forehead," he told her.  She looked at him in blank confusion, and then suddenly laughed and reached up to brush it away.

"I'm sorry Jonathon," she said.  "I don't know why I was being like that,"

He smiled.  "Well if you're back to normal can I clean you up properly?"

She nodded with a laugh, so he got out his handkerchief and spat on it to acquire moisture, then wiped it over her forehead, ignoring the giggly his method elicited from her.

"Shall we go back?" he asked.  "People are looking for you, you know,"

"I think I should explain something first," she told him.  "I said something to you a few days ago that surprised us both, and now I've come here where I've never been before in my life, and I don't think you quite understand it,"

"No; you're right; I don't.  But if you don't want to explain it, I don't have to understand,"

"No," she turned to him serious.  "I want you to,"

"I don't even quite know how to explain it.  It was just a matter of memory maybe.  Thinking about Roger led to thinking about this, and I've been thinking about him, Alex I mean, a lot.  I realised that he wasn't always bad; he was never evil; he was corrupted.  But before that he was my friend, and I cared about him, just as I did about you and Gary and Raoul.  And we shared something.  We were the best, but we never knew who was better.  All he wanted to do was find out, and I cheated him of that knowledge, and after… I didn't even think about him.  I feel guilty, and I needed to apologize,"

He was shocked, but he tried to keep it off his face.  "And have you done that now," rubbing his forehead as if it was covered in dirt, or cobwebs.

"Not really," she replied.  "But I've made a start,"

"So are you ready to go back to a world of living people?"

She got to her feet, reached out and took his hand, and pulled him up beside her.  "I think so," she said.

They shared a smile, and he leaned down to kiss her forehead, and put his arms around her for a moment.


	11. Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Their horses' hooves sounded like the inside of an armoury in the twilight, slapping down on the hard stone of the courtyard.  Roald glanced at Kally, and she gave him a small smile before slipping a mask over her face and whispering to her horse to slow down, and manoeuvring it into a passage which led away from the main palace.  Roald followed her.

Jonathon came to stand beside Alanna by the window.

"It's very quiet," he commented.

"The universe is waiting for something," she replied softly.

"What do you think it is?" Thayet asked from behind them.  Alanna turned to look at her with a half smile.

"I don't know,"

Jonathon suddenly stiffened beside her.  "Quiet," he whispered.  "Can you hear that?"

Alanna watched him for a moment before she heard what he was hearing.  Then she frowned.  "Horses?" she asked.  Jonathon nodded and turned to look at his wife, who was on her feet, staring at them eyes wide.

"Do you think…" she began to ask, breaking off suddenly.  Jonathon and Alanna both smiled.  Thayet began to smile back at them, and then turned away and began to run.  Jonathon followed her, and left Alanna alone for a moment.  The redheaded woman turned to look at the window and stared at the sky, tracing out the constellations in her mind.  She was shaking slightly when she turned away from the window, and almost didn't move.

Roald pulled his horse to a stop as Kalasin slid down from hers.  She stood in the shadow of its bulk for a moment before walking out into the open and towards her mother.  He waited a little longer, until George reached out to take the reins of their horses, freeing him to join his sister in their mother's embrace.

Alanna came to stand beside Jonathon, and looked over at George.  He smiled at her, and turned to look at the horses, rubbing his hands over the neck of one of them.

Jonathon brushed Alanna's hand with his own as he stepped forward.  Instantly Kalasin looked up from the reunion she and her brother were having with their mother.  Her eyes focused seemed to glaze over, and then refocus on Alanna.  The shock of memory coming back nearly caused Alanna to stumble backwards.  Then Kalasin smiled at her, just a small smile, no delirious happiness, but it made sense.

The princess disentangled herself from the arms of Thayet and Roald and walked over towards Jonathon.  She stopped about a metre away from him, and stared at him seriously.  Then a tear fell down her cheek.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she flung her arms around her father.  Jon hugged her tightly.  He looked at Alanna, eyes filled with pain.  She tried to smile at him.  He turned back to Kally.

"So am I," he whispered, so quietly that only Alanna and Kalasin heard him.  The princess looked up and stood on tiptoe to kiss her father's cheek.

Alanna jumped as the three younger royal children raced passed her to fling themselves at their sister in a most undignified manner.  Jonathon freed himself and moved back to stand next to Alanna.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"For now," he told her with a wry smile.  The tiniest sound of someone moving penetrated their ears and both turned at the same time.  Roald stood before his father, looking profoundly nervous.

"Are you alright?" Jonathon asked his son.  Roald nodded seriously.  Jonathon hugged him quickly.

"I'm very glad of that," he said.  Roald gave a small smile.

"Perhaps I should go and rescue Kally," he suggested.  Alanna's brow creased in amusement.

"Good idea," she agreed.  Roald nodded and turned to go, then turned back and hugged her for a moment.  Alanna looked at Jonathon after he left.  He smiled and turned to watch as Roald joined his siblings.

"Perhaps you should consider letting her breathe for a moment," he suggested.  The other three turned and looked at him, recognition taking a second to form in their eyes.  Then they all screamed and jumped at him.

Jonathon was watching the three young ones about Roald, but Alanna happened to glance up at the exact second Kally stepped away from her brothers and sister, and saw the desolate expression on the young woman's face.  The princess's eyes were focussed on the paving stones before her, her body absolutely still but for the slight movement of her chest in and out as she breathed.  She was so pale that she hardly seemed to be alive, and if it weren't for that movement of chest Alanna would have become concerned.  As it was she wasn't sure what to do about it without worrying Thayet.

The solution to the problem came from a rather unexpected or at least unusual source.  Kalasin stumbled suddenly and Alanna moved to grab her.  Kalasin looked at her with sudden recognition in her eyes, and she smiled slightly.  It wasn't much of a smile, but enough.  Then Kally hugged her, and over the princess's shoulder she glimpsed two purple spheres in the darkness.  One of them closed in a wink.  Alanna shook her head.

Kalasin backed away from her, a more confident expression adoring her face.

"Ah, Roald…" she began.  Her brother looked up from his younger siblings.  "It's nice to be happy to see them and all, but perhaps it might be nice for you to let some other people know you're back, like your wife, maybe," she tilted her head to one side.

Roald glared at her, and Kally smirked at him.  "Come on," she told him, reaching out one hand.  Thayet motioned to the other three children to join her.  Jasson and Liam complied instantly, and Lianne followed them after giving her brother one last kiss.

There was no maid at the door to Princess Shinkokami's quarters.  Instead there was Keladry at her friend's bedside, and she wore a sword displayed rather obviously at her side.  She got to her feet as Yuki opened the door for them, but relaxed once she saw who it was, glowering only a little.

Shinko lay on her bed, eyes closed.  "Who is it?" she asked Kel quietly.  Kel glanced at Roald, who put a finger over his lips, and moved silently towards Shinko's bedside.  Shinko herself was frowning, waiting for an answer.

"Kel, who is it?" she asked.

"I'm not sure yet," Keladry replied in a low voice.  "But maybe you'll see if you open your eyes now," she suggested, as Roald reached his wife's bedside and stood over her.

Shinko's eyes came open slowly, and then widened.  "Roald?"  He smiled at her.  She sat up and flung her arms around his neck, kissing him thoroughly.  Keladry backed up and made her way to join the two women at the door.

"Be careful of her," Kalasin instructed her brother firmly as she closed the door.

They waited in the ante chamber in silence for a few minutes.  Kel stayed on her feet, as did Yuki, both standing backs to the door they had come out of.  Kalasin crossed to the other door and stood looking at it for a moment.  Then she turned to look at Keladry.

"I think we had better have a talk, you and I," she suggested softly.

Keladry's face remained Yanami smooth.  "As my lady wishes," she agreed.

Kalasin nodded.  "Do you want to stay here, or go somewhere else?" she asked, personal control and years of training keeping her from even glancing at Yuki.  The Yanami Lady-in-waiting however, looked up and then stepped forward.

"Actually, if it's alright, I'll go," she suggested.  "I need to visit with my husband,"

Kalasin nodded with a small smile in her direction.  "Thank you," She stepped aside to allow Yuki to leave.

After she was gone the princess and the knight stood facing each other in silence for several minutes.  Then Kalasin stared straight into Keladry's eyes and began.

"Did you know I'm empathic?"

Kel shook her head.

"That doesn't mean I can read what's in your head, just some of your heart,"

Kel licked her lips.

"Why don't you like me?" Kally asked frankly.  Keladry's mask slipped for a second as she dissolved into shock.  She looked away.

"I'm sorry," the princess told her quietly.  "It's really quite a hard thing to ask, and I haven't figured out how to be more subtle about it yet,"

Kel looked at her again.  She wasn't smiling, but she wasn't scowling either.  "I don't know," she replied smoothly.

Kalasin looked at her.  "I apologize for whatever it was,"

This time Keladry frowned.  Kally smiled at her.  "I can't help it.  I really, really don't like it when people dislike me, or my family," It was done entirely purposefully; no point in trying to soften this encounter.

Keladry looked away again.

"If you don't know why you don't like me I can't try to do anything about it.  But my father… I can't help feeling that's wrong.  Could you please talk to someone about it?  Alanna, maybe,"

Kel slipped a glance at her, and then brought her head up.  "Maybe I should," she murmured.

Kally smiled, and then flushed. "I'm going to change the subject now," she informed Kel.  The knight's face twitched into a smile.

"I missed you so much," Shinko whispered.

"I know," he replied just as softly.

"Really?" she said.  "How?"

"You told me so," he replied.  She frowned.  He kissed her quickly and explained.  "It was in a dream.  You came to me and told me to come back to you.  So here I am,"

She smiled.  "Oh,"

He settled more comfortably beside her and peered into her eyes.  "I missed you too you know,"

She smiled back at him.  "I know,"

They kissed once more, and then he pulled away as she winced.

"Are you alright?" he asked urgently.  "Should I get Kally?"

"I'm fine," she replied.  "It was only a little pain,"

"That's as maybe," Kalasin told them from the door.  "But we should look into it anyway.  I told you to be careful brother mine,"

Roald stepped back from the bed with a small smile at both wife and sister.  Kalasin took his place by the bed and reached out to place one hand over Shinko's forehead and one over her stomach.  She closed her eyes for a moment, and a frown creased her forehead.  Then she opened her eyes and looked at Shinko with a half scowl on her face.

"Oh, yes," she commented sarcastically.  "You're absolutely fine.  Lady Keladry," she turned to Kel.  'Could you please go and find Yuki, and Lady Alanna and the queen and bring them here,"

Kel nodded.  "At once my lady," she bowed slightly and left.  Kalasin sighed, and then turned back to her sister in law.

"So you don't feel anything unusual?" she inquired.  Shinko shook her head.  "Good.  Tell me if you do,"

"What's wrong?" Roald interrupted anxiously.  Kalasin sighed and shook her head at Shinko.

"I'm sorry," she told her sister-in-law.  "I did try for you,"

Shinkokami smiled.  'I'm sure you did," she replied.  The two women exchanged another glance and then Kalasin abandoned all pretence and reached out to hug Shinko.  The two clung to each other for a moment, and then Kally pulled back to her heels.

"And I promise I'll ask first next time I need to borrow your husband," she added.

"Thank you," Shinko agreed.

            "Stop pacing Roald," Kally instructed.  "It's driving me mad,"

            ­_"You already were mad," _he told her mentally.  She stuck her tongue out at him, and Shinko, guessing the exchange that had taken place, chuckled, and then winced again.  Kalasin gave her a look.

            "Is everything alright?" Thayet demanded a few minutes later, as she and Alanna entered the room.

            "You can judge," Kalasin told her, stepping back from the bed to allow Alanna to take her place.

            A few moments later Alanna opened her eyes and smiled at Shinko.  "Are you ready?" she asked.  Shinko's eyes went wide.

            Thayet laughed.  "You really oughtn't do that," she scolded Alanna.  "Ignore her," she instructed Shinko.  Her daughter-in-law gulped and nodded.

            "Roald, stay here," Kalasin instructed.  She and Thayet and Alanna made their way out of the room.

            "Well," Thayet asked when they were securely in the antechamber.  "What's going on?"

            "It's very close," Alanna replied.  "We should start getting ready,"

            Kalasin nodded.  "I'll talk to Roald,"

            "I'll tell Jonathon," Alanna added.  "I need to see George any way,"

Thayet nodded.  "I'll talk to Shinko," They separated; Kally and her mother going back the way they came and Alanna out the door.

"Roald, here please," Kalasin instructed.  He stood up from Shinko's bedside and came over to join her.

"Is she alright?" he asked.

Kalasin sighed in exasperation.  "Gods help me.  Yes Roald, she's fine, but her time is coming up, very soon.  You have to decide whether you want to stay or not,"

Roald looked at her solemnly.  "Are you alright?" he asked.  "You don't have to be involved you know.  I can see that you're tired,"

"Doing this or not isn't going to change how I feel," she replied.  "But Shinko asked for me to be here, so here I'll be.  You on the other hand… most fathers don't stay for the birth of their children Roald,"

He looked at her.  "I won't make you leave," she added.  "But you need to make a choice, before she gets irrational,"

"I don't know Kally," he whispered.

"Why don't you sit outside with Papa," she suggested.  "That way, if anything interesting happens, you can come in, but you won't get under my feet,"

He looked at her, mouthed, "interesting?!" and returned to his wife's bedside.

"Jonathon?" Alanna called.  "Jon?"

            He and George were right where she had left them, and both turned expectantly towards the sound of her voice.

            "What's going on?" Jon asked her.

            "If you were going to plan a welcome back celebration I wouldn't," knowing it was not likely but trying to remain flippant about it.  "But I think you ought to come with me; your son is going to need some company before long,"

            The two men changed a look, and then both joined her, walking just behind in a sign of her rank in this situation.

            After Alanna returned with Jonathon and George, she and the other women calmly evicted Roald to the foyer outside, to wait with his father and godsfather.  The three of them sat in silence for hours, undisrupted because of the spell Alanna and Jonathon kept switching between them without any prompting.  Roald would have offered to help, but his head was a little clouded, a condition he expected would find its source in his sister.  He made a mental note to chat with her about that, and then turned his thoughts back to the unravelling of the sleeve of his shirt.

            Keladry was the one to eventually open the door.

            "You may come in now," she told them.  Roald got to his feet, and then looked to his father.  Jonathon stood up, but motioned Roald ahead of him.  Roald gulped, but did as he was bidden.

            His mother and Alanna stood to the bed, but as he came in both of them moved past him to stand by the sides of their respective husbands.  Kalasin knelt on the floor, holding a wad of blankets in her arms.  Yuki was by the bed, tending to her mistress.  Roald's eyes went to his sister for a minute, but she shook her head.  So he went to Shinko, taking her from Yuki and holding her in his arms.  She smiled wearily up at him.

            Alanna glanced at Jonathon from where she stood in the circle of George's arms.  He was looking at her too, without turning his head away from the young couple on the bed.  She smiled at him, and remembered, as she knew he was, the day she had brought the news to him of Roald's birth, and the embrace they had shared then, its true meaning masked in joy and friendship.  She wondered for a moment if he knew, and then laughed to herself.  Of course he did.

            She stood up, the child in her arms, and felt another wave of premonition sweep her.  Looking towards her brother and his wife, she tried to be happy, but her memories of that emotion were lost in the fog that overwhelmed her mind.  Her feet beat a slow tattoo on the floor, one that she could only feel, and no one else could hear the sound like a heart beat, to be stopped when she reached her destination.  Her mind was like a stone, her movements and reactions autonomous.

            They both looked up at her, and she smiled, letting it come naturally to her though there was nothing in her heart behind it.  Her brother slowly reached out, and she handed the child to him before stepping away from the bed.

            "She's going to need a name," Kalasin told her brother quietly.  He looked up at her and smiled.

"I know,"

"This is entirely your choice," Jonathon told Roald and Shinko.  "There are no rules or traditions involved.  You can pick whatever you choose, and no one, absolutely no one, can do anything about it,""

Shinkokami's eyes lit up for a moment.  Alanna and Thayet glanced at each other and shared a smile, enjoying sharing Shinko's joy in her new motherhood.  Then Alanna's eyes moved on to Roald, and from him to Kally.  Roald was holding his little daughter in her arms, rocking her gently to and fro.  Kalasin sat on the window seat, looking over her shoulder at her brother.  Some communication seemed to have passed between them, but whatever it was looked to be remaining private.

Shinko reached out and touched her husband's arm.  He looked at her and she sat up and whispered something in his ear.  He smiled, and nodded.

"We'd like to call her Tara," he told the others, brushing back a bit of blanket so they could see her face.

Thayet moved to sit by her son, and then turned to look at her husband.  Alanna found herself watching Jonathon too, and knew that Roald and Shinko were doing the same.

Jon crossed the room in three strides, and took the baby from her father.  Carefully reaching into the blanket that covered her, he brushed his fingers over his granddaughter's forehead.  "Tara of Conte," he murmured.  "Your Highness," He handed her back to Roald and bowed.  Tara smiled radiantly.

In the days following her birth, Tara of Conte was kept hidden from most of the palace.  The only people that saw her apart from her family were Alanna and George, Yuki and Kel, Gary, Raoul, Duke Baird, and her great-great uncle Duke Gareth of Naxen.  When Duke Gareth saw her he sighed.

"I remember when you were born," he told Jonathon.  "Suddenly I feel very old,"

"Your not old uncle," Jonathon told him, but the look he sent to Alanna told her that he didn't really feel it.  Gareth's health had been deteriorating for some time, and his heart wouldn't last much longer.  Soon it would be too late for him to hope for a death in battle, and when his end came it would be as an old man in his bed.  Alanna tried to soothe Jon's worries, but they both knew her words were hollow.  Tara proved a much better comfort, or at least an excellent distraction, so Alanna left the little baby to her work and went to watch the pages and squires training.

"Do you have to leave?" Roald asked her.  She nodded.

"This isn't my home anymore.  I have to go," She put her arms around him and rested her face on his shirt.  "You promised me it would get better, but it can't get better if I'm here all the time,"

He hugged her tightly.  "I suppose I did," he reluctantly agreed.  She nodded.

"You know, it occurs to me that you make an awful lot of promises brother mine," she observed, pulling back and craning her neck to look up at him.

"Do I?" he asked, smiling.  They stood in silence for a while.

"Well since you're so good at it," she began.  "I'm going to extract another promise from you,"

"Alright,"

"Take care of our family Roald," she said.  "Mama and Papa, and Lianne, ad Jasson and Liam, and Shinko and Tara, and everyone else, until I get back,"

"I will," he promised.

"Good," she replied.  A tall bronzed Catharki guard handed her her reins, and Roald helped her up.  The mounted guards surrounded her, and their leader signalled the horses into motion, and they rode out of the palace and city following the road that lead to Port Caynn. 


	12. Twelve

Chapter Twelve

In the early spring the court of Tortall made a tour of the realm to show the newest Conte her future kingdom.  Alanna rode by her king's side, and listened to the protests of conservatives who believed that a woman could never rule with disgust.

            "How can they say that?" she protested to Thayet as they took advantage of the bathes of their host.  "I mean, every one knows that you're just as much in charge as Jonathon is, and Daine saved all of their lives barely ten years ago…"

            "And then there's the Lioness," Thayet interrupted her.  "Without whom I wouldn't have my husband and the realm of Tortall wouldn't exist," Alanna glared and flicked water at her.

            When the parade passed through Pirate's Swoop Alanna left it, after fare- welling Jonathon privately in a cave down on the beach.  Over the next few months she attended to the more mundane duties involved in running a fief, duties that George usually took care of, but her husband was often away, strange reports kept coming in from his spies, and more often than not he was required to travel to be properly informed on the situation.

Alanna immersed herself in her work, trying to forget about how much she missed Jon.  It wasn't easy; every time she turned a corner there seemed to be something that reminded her of him.  She supposed it was only to be expected; he was the king, but she thought it was unfair of him to be constantly reminding her that they weren't together.

            Then in early autumn the summons came, asking her to return to the palace.  She rode out the next day, telling the knights who usually rode with her to follow at their own pace. It only took her two days to reach Corus, but as she rode up to the palace she noticed that she was incurring an unusual number of curious looks from passers by.  Gary was there to meet her when she arrived at the stables, and he was frowning too.

            "Jon's in his study," he told her.  "You need to see him,"

            "What's going on Gary?" she demanded, swinging down from her horses.

            "Just go and see him," her friend told her, looking worried.  She looked at him as she walked away, frowning.

            "Jonathon," she called as she knocked on the door to his study.  "Can I come in?"

            She was surprised when her father opened the door.  "Myles?" she asked.  "What's happening?"

            "I'll let Jonathon explain," he told her, stepping out of the door and holding it open to let her in.  She smiled at him and he touched her arm fondly before letting the door close.  She turned to face her lover.

            Jonathon was sitting at his desk, holding a sheet of paper in his hand.  He looked up with a confused expression on his face.

            She hurried across the room to his side, reaching out to touch his face.  "Jonathon, what's going on?"

            He held out the paper, obviously wanting her to read it.  Alanna glanced down, began to read… and stopped, as she understood what was wrong.

            "There's no way it could have been natural?" she asked.

            Jonathon shook his head.  "She was in perfect health, other than the fact she's dead… she ought to be a healthy as you or me,"

            "What do you think it is then?" she asked.

            He ran his hands through his hair.  "I don't know," he replied, sounding harassed.  "I've been waiting for months for something to happen, but now it has I have no idea how to deal with it,"

            "No," she agreed.

            "What am I supposed to do then?" he asked.  "How can I do anything if I don't know how to do it?"

            "Maybe this isn't one of those things you can know what to do about.  Maybe you just have to keep going and whatever is supposed to happen will happen," She backed away and sat down in the other chair as she said it, thoughtfully holding her hand over her mouth.

            "If we lived our lives like that Alanna nothing would ever change," Jonathon replied.

            "We'd still feel wouldn't we?" she argued.  "And if we could feel without any other complications we could still live,"

            "There are always other complications," Jon said.  He turned away from her.

            "What are we talking about now?" she asked, refusing to leave.

            "I don't know, the fact that people die, that people live,"

            "Jonathon, are you aiming to be raised to divinity?"

            He laughed shortly and then stood up.  "I'm sorry," he muttered.

            "It's alright,"

            He looked up.  "I missed you,"

            "I missed you too,"

            "Then will you kiss me?"

            There eyes met and he offered a smile.  He walked out from behind the desk, watching her intently.  She found herself stepping forward without even thinking about it.  They met half way and he ran his fingers over her cheek, gently brushing her lip with his thumb.

            "Please kiss me,"

            She kissed him.

            "Love you Alanna,"

            "Love you Jon,"

            He put his hands under her chin and lifted her face.  "You and I will always be together through this won't we?"

            "Of course we will," she replied, at the same time making the same vow in her mind.

            "And everything will be alright," she added.

            "Everything will be alright," Jonathon repeated.

            "And whatever happened to Delia will just make itself apparent in time, and until then there's nothing we can do,"

            "It shouldn't have to be like this,"

            She looked at the floor.  "No," she agreed.  "They shouldn't,"

            "Are you still thinking about that?" he asked.

            "I can't help it Jon," she defended herself. "Every time I think about it I feel guilty, and I come up with so many other things I could have done instead,"

            He put his arms around her and pulled her body into his.  "And did you ever think to try not thinking about it my Lioness?" he asked teasingly.

            She let him kiss her and then ran her fingers over his lips.  "You know, when I hear you talking like this there's just one word that comes to my mind," she tilted her head to the side.

            "What's that?" Jon asked patiently.

            "Hypocrite," she told him, ducking the punch he aimed at her and giggling.

            Jonathon smiled, kissed her and then glanced away.  "Perhaps we ought to go to dinner now,"

            Alanna glanced out the window.  "Yes," she agreed.

            "You're back," Thayet greeted her with a smile.  "Just wait to you see Tara; she's the most beautiful thing,"

            Alanna smiled.  "I believe you," she said, and then, after looking around, "your family seems fairly diminished,"

            "I think you mean running late," Thayet corrected her.  Alanna raised her eyebrows.  "Liam and Jasson are somewhere, doing something terribly important they assure me; Lianne is with them, and I really don't know why Roald and Shinko haven't arrived,"

            Alanna looked towards the doors as she said that, and smiled as they opened for the crown prince and his wife a moment later.  Shinkokami looked apologetic.

            "Tara was upset," she explained.  "She wouldn't let go of Roald and so we couldn't leave until she calmed down," Alanna only half heard what she was saying; mostly she was watching Roald absently pull out his wife's chair and then sink down at the table; the effort he made not to rest his head on his hands blatantly obvious.  Alanna nibbled absently on her lip and watched as he looked up, and forced her eyes onto his.  He blinked and gave her a tired looking smile.  Alanna smiled back, and looked away so that he wouldn't see the worry on her face.

            "Don't worry," Thayet was telling Shinko.  Everyone here understands what it's like to have a young child, so you don't need to apologize.  You three on the other hand…" she added as her other wayward children hurried in, "promised me you would be on time young man," she addressed Liam, who looked to Roald for support.  His brother smiled.

            "They were doing something very important Mama," he told Thayet, who sighed.

            "You're supposed to be on my side now," she told her eldest.

            "Sorry Mama," he replied meekly.  Jonathon hid a smile behind his dinner.  Alanna suddenly heard Gary's voice in her mind, _"But it was important Aunty,"_ speaking to Queen Lianne once when they were trying to get out of a punishment for being out after lights out.  She smiled too.

            The door banged, and Alanna, who was watching Roald again, saw the crown prince jump in his seat and glance over in that direction.  Alanna decided that Roald was terrible company when he was jumpy; his behaviour was making her twitch too.

            "Could you let me know when you go to dinner next time?" Gary asked.  "I'm not all that fond of your office that I like going there when you're not there, and I have some papers that need your immediate attention,"

            "Do you remember what fun is Gary?" Alanna asked.  He glared at her.

            "Would you like something to eat Sir Gareth?" Thayet asked.

            "Of course he would," Jonathon told her.  "Bring your papers here Gary, and have a snack while I look at them,"

            "Would you mind if Alanna and I came to visit you after dinner?" Thayet asked Shinko.  "You can show her your beautiful daughter," Shinko smiled.  The younger boys rolled their eyes.  Gary glanced up and shared a smile with Alanna.  Roald shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  Jonathon put his hand on his son's shoulder and spoke to him in a voice to low for Alanna to hear.  Roald shook his head and turned his attention to his dinner.  Jonathon looked up and his eyes met Alanna's.  She smiled at him.

            "Are these really so important?" Jon asked Gary.

            "Yes!"

            Alanna leaned over and read the papers over Jonathon's shoulder.  She looked up at Gary, raising her eyebrows.

            "You're just out for something to eat aren't you?" she commented.  Gary opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by the king.

            "Can I have something to sign these with Gary?"  Gary stuck his tongue out at Alanna as he offered a pen to Jonathon.

            "Thank you," the king told him, handing the papers back.  Gary looked reluctantly at the door and Thayet burst out laughing.  Gary turned to look at her reproachfully, and Alanna had time to compose herself.

            "Sit," Jonathon instructed Gary.

            "Can you come with me please Roald?" Jonathon asked as they were finishing their meal.  "I have some things I could use your help with,"

            Roald nodded mutely.  Alanna frowned, and then looked expectantly at Thayet.  The queen smiled and got to her feet, beckoning.

            Tara was every bit as beautiful as Thayet had promised, but she didn't seem to know it, or if she did, she didn't care.  She was crying when they arrived, and nothing anyone could think of would console her.  Alanna held her for a little while, but she didn't even acknowledge that she had changed arms.  Eventually Thayet and Alanna retreated, and Thayet went off to visit the rider barracks, to get a report from the group that had just returned.

            Alanna went to Jonathon's office.  She knocked on the door before she entered, and smiled at both king and prince.

            "Are you alright?" she asked Roald.  He nodded, and Alanna decided to leave it at that.  Roald gave her his seat and went to the window, staring out at the courtyard below.

            Alanna and Jonathon made small talk for a while, until Roald suddenly jerked forward.  Alanna turned to look at him.

            "Roald…" she began.  He turned to look at her.

            "I'm alright Aunty," he told her.  "Really," he sounded different, like perhaps he really was alright, and Alanna wondered what had changed.  He came over and hugged her briefly, which just confused her more; Roald's hugs were usually reserved for very special occasions, and yet she'd been given two in the last year.  Briefly she contemplated how sad it was that things that should be good worried her.

            Jonathon was speaking to his son, who was shaking his head vehemently.

            I don't know Papa," he told Jonathon, "so I can't tell you,"

            Jonathon gave him a look.

"I'm sorry," Roald added.  "You don't know how sorry," He looked at the window.  "I need to go now," He was gone before Jon had a chance to say anything else.

Jonathon looked over at Alanna.  "What do you think that was about?" he asked.  Alanna was shaking her head, but then stopped, and turned to look at the door.  Suddenly she was filled with a creeping spreading dread, invading her body and filling every inch of it with a chill.  She slipped into Jonathon's arms and felt them fold around her, burying her head against his chest even when she heard movement in the shadows behind her.

Jonathon's muscles tensed, and she reluctantly removed her face from the warm comfort of his shirt and turned to face the door.

_"It is time,"_

Alanna slowly looked up into Kalasin's eyes, eyes so like Jonathon's, and yet suddenly so foreign that if it weren't for Jonathon's body Alanna would have stepped back out of instinct.  She felt her lover's arms tighten around her, and would have looked at him if her eyes hadn't been trapped by Kally's.

            Then Kalasin looked away from her, down to the child in her arms, obscured from sight by a blanket.  Alanna didn't try to get a better look at the baby, guessing that it was the source of her fear, and of Kalasin's.

            She looked up at Jonathon, and found his eyes locked on his daughter's.  The room was silent for a long time, Alanna waiting patiently for this silent confrontation to end.  Eventually Jon bowed.  Kally inclined her head just a little.

            "Are you ready?" she asked.  Jonathon looked at Alanna.  She smiled at him.

            "Yes, let's go," she replied.  Kalasin nodded softly, turned on her heels and lead the way down the stairs, leaving Jonathon and Alanna to a moment of privacy.

She turned to face him and looked up into his eyes.  He held her tightly for a moment, and kissed her before taking her hand and following Kalasin.

Somehow there was no one around to impede their progress through the palace until they reached the very doors of their destination.  Kalasin turned back by the temple doors to look behind her.  Alanna followed her eyes to see Thayet and Roald, and a group of the private inner circle of the court.  Kalasin was watching Roald, and Alanna could see that the prince's eyes were on his sister too.  She heard Jonathon say something quietly to his daughter, and Kally turned away and stepped into the temple.  The doors closed behind Alanna and Jon as they followed her.

Once inside Alanna stopped for a moment to look around.  As the palace had been, the temple was completely deserted, and that had never happened within Alanna's memory.  She looked up at Kally, and saw that the princess was beside the doors to the Chamber of the Ordeal.  Alanna suppressed a gulp.  She had known what was coming, but until now she'd managed to hide it from herself, and delay the inevitable fear that came whenever she thought of the chamber.  She felt Jon's comforting hand in hers, and knew he was feeling the same way.

"You don't have to come," he told her.  Alanna looked at him.  Then she laughed.

"You can't get rid of me that easily," she replied.  "We'll be together through all of this, remember?"

Jon gave a rueful smile.  "I knew that was going to come back to haunt me," he noted.  "Alright then Lady Knight. Together we go,"

The doors to the Chamber were open.  Kalasin stood by them, face as blank as ever before.  She looked at them and Jonathon nodded.

            The Chamber was dark, and empty.  Alanna let go of Jonathon's hand and walked around, carefully.  It wasn't cold as it had been the last time she was in there; it wasn't anything really, just a little dusty.

            Jonathon sucked in his breath behind her and she heard the sound of his hand going to his sword.  She spun around, reaching for her sword, and then dropped it as she saw what Jonathon had reacted to.

            "Alex?" she asked, her voice coming out as little more than a squeak.

            Alexander of Tirragon nodded politely at her, and then bowed to Jonathon.

            "Your Majesty,"

            Jonathon stared at his former friend in shock.  Alanna stepped up to stand beside him, knowing that her eyes were unnaturally wide.

            Alex turned to look at her.  His mouth opened slightly as if he wanted to say something, but whatever it was he couldn't get it out.  Finally he looked over at Kalasin and shook his head a little.

            "Would you like a seat?" he asked.  "This may take a while,"

            Jonathon found his voice and accepted for both of them.  Alex nodded and motioned for them to sit.  An oddly style sofa had appeared behind them, and Alanna allowed her legs to collapse onto it.  Alex was seated across from them on a stiff backed chair when she turned around, and she noted the Chamber's attempted subtlety with amusement.

            "I'm going to tell you some things that must be explained, should you hope to win the battle that is coming," Alex told them.  "I'm to be the one to tell you this because I can't be on either side, and the Elemental's have decreed that the Gods and their enemies can have no direct input into this contest,"

            "Then why are we here?" Jonathon asked.

            "Because I can be here untampered with by either side, and both sides would try to affect me if I wasn't.  They're like that sometimes.  This is the home of the Elementals on this world, and so we are safe here,"

            Jonathon nodded comprehension, but Alanna could see that his brain was having a hard time rearranging itself around this new information.  She reached out for his hand.

            When she looked up she was startled to see Alex looking at her and Jon's intertwined fingers, and even more puzzled by the expression on his face.  Something like… longing, and regret.  She coughed, bringing his attention back to them.

            "Well anyway, have you worked out by now what happened last winter?" he asked.

            Alanna shook her head.  She didn't want to think about it.

            Jonathon nodded to Alex.  "We know,"

            "That was necessary," Alex told them.  "He couldn't die until everything else was in place, but if he had lived like he wanted to everything would have been wrong.  So the Elementals did what they had to to ensure that when it finally came down to it the setting would be right,"

            Alanna suddenly decided to ask a question that had bothered her for a long time.  "What are the Elementals?" she asked.

            "The oldest life known," Alex replied.  "The parents and aunts and uncles of your Gods, and their adversaries.  They interfere with their children only when the future is in danger.  It actually happens more often than you'd think," he noted.  "Does that answer your question?"

            Alanna nodded; she really didn't trust herself to speak.

            "And now the future is in danger again," Alex continued.  "What you call the Immortals war, the escape of Urasoe, that was the beginning; she being Chaos is not always able to wait for the full scheme of her allies to come to fruition,"

            Jonathon raised his eyebrows delicately.

            "The point is the time for preparation is up.  There will be a battle, you and your allies versus those who are dead who have been returned to their bodies; you two will confront Roger, and everything will be decided.  You need to gather all the allies you can find Jonathon; this battle is going to be bigger than anything you've ever dreamed of,"

            Jonathon rubbed his forehead.  "There has to be more to it than that," he said slowly.

            "What do you want to know?" Alex asked.

            "I just don't understand how all these things join together," Jon replied.  "And why now and why us?"

"You have powerful blood Jonathon," Alex told him.  "Unhampered your bloodline would have affected almost as much damage as the enemies of the Gods, for Chaos runs in it.  But that blood has been controlled, and diluted, until the power is only a little more than what a powerful human mage would have,"

            When Alanna and Jonathon exchanged as puzzled look, he added, "The only reason that Numair Salamin seems more powerful is because of the education he has had,"

            "What about Alanna?" Jonathon asked.

            "She has the magic of two very powerful mages in one body," Alex explained.  "Which ought to explain the why now as well; you two are perfect for one role, and your children," nodding to Jonathon, "are capable of doing what has to be done,"

            Jonathon frowned and opened his mouth.  "Don't ask me Jonathon," Alex told him.  "I can't tell you,"

            "You shouldn't even him that," a voice drawled from the doorway.  "You're betraying everything we worked for,"

            Alex got to his feet, a look of concern crossing his face.  "What are you doing here?" he asked.

            "What, not happy to see me Lover?" Delia asked as he took his seat.  "Did you know we were sleeping together the entire time you and I were?" she asked Jonathon conversationally.

            Alanna ground her teeth.  "And you have the nerve to call me a slut?" she asked.

            "I never claimed to be in love with any of the men I slept with," Delia replied smoothly.  "Much less three at the same time,"

            "Actually, I think you just did," Alanna replied.

            "Did what?"

            Jonathon looked away to hide his smile, and Alex, producing himself a new seat, seemed to be doing the same thing.

            "Never mind," he told Delia.

            "I do mind," she replied waspishly.

            Jonathon sighed.  "Alex asked a very valid question," he noted.  "What are you doing here?"

            Delia sniffed.  "Well, apparently I'm no longer allowed to have a side in this conflict, but what he's doing is totally… wrong,"

            Alanna gave her an exasperated look.  Alex and Jonathon looked from one woman to the other and then began talking.

            "Every single ally you can get," Alex told Jonathon.  "Cathark, Galla, Scanra, the Copper Isles, the Yanamis, Tusaine, Tyra, the Bazhir, the Shang,"

            "Are you crazy?" Alanna asked, forgetting about her argument with her second greatest mortal enemy.  "Bazhir, Shang, Yanamis, yes.  Cathark, Galla and Tyra, maybe.  But the others, you of all people know that the Copper Isles will never ally with Jonathon; we just spent about five years at war with Scanra, and you fought in the Tusaine campaign,"

            Alex wiped his hand wearily across his face.  "I know that," he replied.  "But they'll do it Jon, all of them will; they will because they have to; they'll know that.  The battle," he added.  "Six weeks, you know the place," it wasn't a question.  Then he turned to look at Kally.

            "You know what you have to do?" he asked.  She nodded.

            "Yes," the voice made caused a chill to run through Alanna's body.  It was like Kalasin was gone, completely gone.  Alanna grabbed Jonathon's hand and squeezed it, feeling the pressure returned.  She looked at Alex, and saw him turning away.  Kalasin walked to the door, and stood waiting quietly beside it.  Delia was looking expectantly at Alex.

            He looked over at her and nodded.  "Good luck," he told Jonathon and Alanna.  Jon nodded.  Alex smiled slightly and turned away.  Alanna looked at him for a second and then let go of Jon's hand and ran after him.  He turned to look at her, and she saw the surprise in his face.  It startled her, and she stopped for a moment.

            Alex looked away from her.  "If you're going to ask me why I'm helping you…" he began.

            Alanna flung her arms around him.  "I wanted to apologize," she told him, bursting into tears suddenly.  "For everything.  For cheating you in our fight, and killing you," she felt him wince against her.  "And for everything else too,"

            Delia's cruel laugh cut out suddenly, and at the same time Alanna felt Alex putting his arms around her.   She looked up at him, and found that he was looking down at her with a question in his eyes.

            "You did what you had to do," he told her.  "But I… I put my ambitions before my friendships, and ended up trying to kill the people who I should have been helping.  I would have killed you, if you hadn't done what you did.  So I want to know, can you forgive me?"

            Alanna stared at him in shock, realising that this was the first time she'd seen Alex show true remorse.  The last time he'd been even remotely like this was after Frances died, and Alex had been too sick to attend the funeral.

            "I don't blame you," she told him.  His eyebrows shot up.  She chuckled.  "Not to say that I didn't, but I don't anymore,"

            Alex smiled.  "Alright,"

            "I can't say all the things to you that I want," Alanna told him.  'So I need you to tell me whether we'll ever see each other again,"

            Alex shook his head.  "I don't know," he replied.  "But I think that we will         ,"

_"Take it," he whispered.  She slid her blade into his chest and took Lightening from his hand as he fell._

            The shock of memory flashed through her, and she hissed through her teeth to try and block it out.  She heard Jonathon's feet behind her, and then he was taking her from Alex, into his own arms.  The two men made eye contact.

            "She's right you know," Jonathon told him.

            Roald reached the door before the others, in time to close it and stop them from following.  His mother looked at him in puzzlement, and he looked away, resting his forehead against the door, trying to block out the image that had been playing over and over in his brain since it had happened.

            A timid touch to his back made him aware of Shinko's presence, and he turned to look at her, grateful for her love.  She was carrying Tara, but when he looked at them the baby reached out her tiny arms in demand.  Roald took her and held her close to his body, rocking her gently more for his benefit than for hers.

            For about five minutes it was like everyone expected Alanna and Jonathon to reappear instantly, but slowly they began to fade to the sides, taking advantages of the couches placed against the walls in this part of the palace.  Only Thayet remained waiting by the door, and Roald knew he was going to have to say something to his mother.

            He had planned to return Tara to her mother, but as soon as he started to move towards his wife the little princess began to whimper, and he resigned himself to her company with a great relief.

            "Mama?" he addressed Thayet as he approached where she stood.  She turned to look at him, the smile on her lips fading when she saw the expression on his face.

            "What is it?" she asked.

            "This will be difficult for you to understand," he told her.  "But you mustn't touch Kally or her baby.  It would be best if you didn't associate with them at all, but at least don't touch her,"

            "Never?" Thayet asked.

            He shook his head, wishing he knew how to do this so it would cause less pain.  "Just for now," he said.  "When this is over… well, we'll see,"

            Thayet nodded, but her face was blank and dazed.

            "I'm sorry," Roald told her.  Tara cooed and Thayet looked at her with a small smile.

            "Will you lat me hold you at least?" she asked the baby.  Roald handed his daughter over and backed up as Thayet rocked Tara back and forward gently.

            "Babies are probably the cleverest people alive, aren't they?" Daine commented from behind him.  He gave a bleak nod and turned to face the wildmage.  Daine smiled.

            "Are you alright?" she asked him.  He smiled sadly

            "No,"

            "Fair enough," she replied.

He frowned at her, trying to decipher what she meant.

"How much do you know?"

Daine laughed.  "Not a lot.  Ma only told me to keep an eye on you and Kalasin, and not to interfere with the king or Alanna,"

Roald nodded, and glanced at the ground.  Daine's grey eyes watched him.

"It's going to be bad, isn't it?" she asked softly.  He just nodded.  She stepped forward and hugged him briefly.

The others stepped forward as the doors opened.  Jonathon looked at Alanna and she gave him a small reassuring smile before looking around them.  Roald had obviously spoken to his mother while they were in the chamber, because Thayet didn't try to speak to Kalasin, and instead stood watching her daughter and holding Tara.  Roald and Daine were watching them too, but they both looked like they understood, and wanted something to hold onto.

Jonathon turned to his cousin.  "I need you to find George Cooper, wherever he is, and bring him here, now.  And Myles to my office as soon as humanly possible; Then summon my advisors,"

"What's going on?" Gary asked. Jonathon ignored him and kept walking.  Gary looked at Alanna.

"Do it please," she begged him.  Gary nodded, and hurried off towards the stables.  Raoul swore and followed him.  Alanna looked at Roald and Kally.  Both of them nodded and set off after their father.  Alanna followed.

"I'm sorry Gary," Jonathon told his cousin later.  The big knight waved him off.

"It's nothing," he replied lightly.  Alanna watched approvingly.

"So are you going to tell us what's going on Jon?" Raoul asked.  Jonathon glanced at him, and then looked round the table at the rest.

"Alright," he began.  "But keep in mind that I don't really know very much, and that some of what I'm going to tell you is what I've actually been told; some is guess work."

"We have to fight Roger," he announced simply.  "We have to fight him and his army, and we have to destroy them.  I know most of you thought he was dead…" he glanced at Roald and Kally, but so briefly that Alanna wouldn't have seen it if she hadn't been doing the same thing.  Roald met her eyes, but Kalasin looked away.

"…but he's not, and since he should be, we have to kill him," Jonathon continued.  "There's more of course, the gist of which being that the God's are fighting with their brothers and sisters, and we're basically just the pawns in that battle.  That bit of information by the way," he noted, "Will not leave this room.  I don't need another religious debate on my hands right now,"

"Is it just me," Gary asked.  "Or have we just about expended our time quota on killing Duke Roger?"

Raoul groaned.  "Do you have to?" he asked.

"I'm merely suggesting that we ought to make sure we do a proper job this time," Gary protested.  Alanna felt Jonathon's foot gently brush hers under the table.  She looked up into his eyes and saw the concern sparkling there.

_"We'll tell them later,"_ she whispered into his mind.  His eyes closed for a second but then they opened and he turned to the table.

"I know this is confusing," he told them all.  "But you have to trust me.  We can win this; we just need help," he turned to Gary.  "I need you to dispatch a message to all our neighbouring countries, asking for their help.  I've been told by a fairly reliable source that they'll give it," His eyes met hers again, and she gave him a small smile.  "And to the rest of you," he continued, "I need you to begin preparing.  Contact your own factions; mobilise them; you have four weeks," he lifted his hand in dismissal and most of the council stood up and left.  Thayet gave Jonathon a questioning glance, and he smiled and nodded towards the door.  Alanna knew the queen was going to her children.

Eventually the only ones left in the chamber were she and Jon, and Gary and Raoul.  Raoul and Gary were watching them expectantly.

"What haven't you told us yet?" Gary asked.  Alanna winced and saw Jon doing the same.

"We're your friends,' Raoul added.  "Please, whatever it is, you owe us,"

"Alex," Alanna whispered.

"What?" the two shocked voices rang out at the exact same time.

"It was Alex in the Chamber, who told us what we had to do," Jonathon explained.

"I need to sit," Gary breathed, and collapsed into a chair.  Raoul was staring at them.

"And you trust him?" he asked.  "You're going to risk all our lives, because he told you so!"

Alanna closed her eyes in an effort to stop herself from crying.  She felt a sudden pressure on her hand and looked into Jonathon's eyes.

"Yes, we do," he told Raoul, not taking his eyes off her for one moment.  "And we are,"

Alanna looked up at the two people who, other than Jon and George, were her closest friends.  Both of them were watching her, and her hand in Jon's.  She felt herself blushing, and cursed under her breath.

"It's alright," Gary told her.  "We're not stupid either.  Most of the time,"

Raoul looked guilty.  "Sorry 'lana," he muttered.  "I know… well I don't know, but if you think it's alright," He shot a glare at Gary, who was doubling over in laughter.

"You're terrible," Jon told his cousin, standing up and pulling Alanna to her feet with him.  Gary gave a mocking bow.

"We need to go and start getting things organised, so we'll leave you to it," he told them.  "Now say good night Raoul,"

            Raoul kissed Alanna's cheek and gave a half wave.  "Goodnight," he repeated as he closed the door behind them.

            Jonathon put his arms around her.

            "What are we going to do Lady Knight?" he asked.

"I don't know," she replied.  "But we'll manage,"

"My family…" he began.

"Ssh," she replied.  "They'll be alright,"

"What will Lianne do if none of us come back?" he asked.

"What?" she asked, not comprehending.

"Roald and Liam and Jasson are all knights or knights to be; Kalsain's too integral a part of this not to be there, and Thayet… I can't ask her not to go; I can't,"

Alanna heard the emotion in his voice and fell in love with him all over again.  "Oh Jon," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck.  He nuzzled her hair.

"This is different to the Immortal's war," he murmured.  "Then it was everybody's problem.  This is personal, and I don't want her to risk her life for it,"

"Jon, she's your wife.  Things that are personal to you are personal to her too,"

"I don't want her to die; I can't stand the thought of her dying," he repeated.  "Every time I fight, I know that even if I die, even if you die, she'll still be there, and it makes me feel better somehow,"

Alanna smiled.  "I know what you mean.  It's comforting to know that if you die there'll be someone left that loves you," Jon nodded mutely.

"Well if this makes you feel better, I'll love you always whether I'm dead or alive," she told him.  He nuzzled into her hair.

"It does.  Thank you,"

They walked over to the window and looked out.  The sky was red.  Alanna sighed.

"That's too beautiful to mean death,"

Jon pulled her in closer.

She stood in the shadow of an archway, staring out into the courtyard without seeing anything of it.  Her heart was sick; everything was wrong, and the sickness was consuming her.  She was paralysed, unable to move or to scream or even to make a sound.  All she wanted was sleep, but sleep couldn't come to her where she was now, now that she knew her fate, knew that no matter what happened she was bound to her son, and would go with him no matter what.  She couldn't even see any more; everything was gone, and she was alone.

"We need to talk," she closed her eyes and tensed at his voice.

"We need to talk," Roald told Kalasin.  He saw her stiffen and winced internally.

"Alright," she replied, turning to face him.  Her face was pale.

            "Are you alright?" he asked.

            She nodded.

            He closed his eyes.  "Please Kally, can't you even talk to me?"

            "You don't know," she replied, and while her face remained blank there were tears running down her cheeks.  "You can't know,"

            "Not if you don't tell me," he cried.  "Just tell me you're still in there Kally; just say I,"

"I…" She looked straight into his eyes and for a moment communication flashed between them.

            "I don't want you to know,"

            But he knew already, and they both knew it.  So he just nodded.

            "I promise I'll take care of you always,"

_            Um, this chapter has been rewritten so many times that I'm not entirely sure how much sense it makes, but all the important bits are covered.  Just to let you know, the next chapter will be the last one, except the epilogue, and, since I'm guessing that after you read the next chapter you won't be reading that, I'll just say thank you for reading now.  Oh, and if you feel like it, I'd love to hear some guesses on what's going to happen._


	13. Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

_            Alanna_

From the edge of sleep she heard a tiny noise.  Alanna opened her eyes and looked around.  The camp was quiet; only the sound of breathing disturbed the peace of the desert.  But there had been a noise, and her heart was beating fast.

            She pulled her sword to her as she stood up.  The buckle of her belt clinked as she stood up and George stirred in his sleep.  She watched him for a full minute, but he didn't move again, and she moved on.

            She found herself wandering to the edge of the camp, so only the watchmen were closer to the empty sand than she.  The sky was dark, but the edges of the horizon were tinged with pink, suggesting a red dawn to come.

"What is it?" she whispered to herself.

A breath of sand brushed the back of her legs and she spun around, hand reaching for her sun.

Alianne held up her hands in defence.

"It's me, relax,"

Alanna smiled at her daughter.

"I'm impressed,"

Alianne smirked and bowed.  "I've been learning while I was away,"

Alanna nodded.  "You have,"

"And I'm happy," Alianne continued. "I'm doing something I believe in with people I care about,"

"I know," Alanna replied.  "And I'm so proud of you,"

"Then why have you been avoiding me?" her daughter asked.  Alanna sighed.

"I just look at you and realise that all my children are grown up and don't need me anymore,"

"What about finding me a husband, and wives for the boys?" Aly asked.  Alanna laughed.

"You seem to be doing just find at making your own husband, and Daine informs me he's being very proper about the process.  As for the other two, I think I'll leave Thom to you, and Lianne has her eye on Alan,"

Alianne choked.  "Lianne… princess Lianne… Li, Lianne, wants to marry my brother,"

Alanna nodded. "Didn't you know?"

"Lianne can't want to marry my brother.  My best friend can't be my sister-in-law,"

"Well look at the alternative.  Do you really want Lianne to move to another country to marry a man none of us have ever met, like Kalasin did?  I know her best friend doesn't like that very much,"

Aly considered it a moment.  "You're right,"

Alanna smiled.  "I am occasionally," She jumped when she felt Alianne's arms wrap around her.

"I love you Mama," she whispered.

"I love you too," Alanna replied.  "Now go back to bed,"

"Alright," her daughter hugged her again and then turned away.  Alanna watched as she wandered back towards the camp.

"They're awake," Kalasin's voice surprised her; it had become such a rare sound.

"Who?" Alanna asked.

"Roger's army," the young Empress replied.  "The dead,

"Can you kill him?" she asked.

"Roger?" Alanna asked.

Kally shook her head.

"I don't know; I guess we'll find out when I do,"

A ghost of a smile tugged over Kalasin's face.  "You'll take care of my father; won't you?" she asked.

Alanna nodded.  "Always; mind my children,"

"We will," Roald replied, standing quietly beside his sister.

Alanna glanced at them both.  "And you'll both take care of yourselves too," she checked.

They flung their arms around her, or to be more precise, Roald flung his arms around the both of them and Kally used one, balancing her son on the other.  Alanna was surprised.

"Sorry," Roald muttered.  Kalasin moved away, her face registering blank again. Roald looked just plain miserable.

"I guess it's time to go," he muttered.  Alanna nodded.

"Wake them,"

"Can you do it?" Liam asked her.  Alanna nodded and broke his nose, slamming the shards back into his brain.

"Trust me, that wasn't the hard part," she told his corpse.

"What about this then?" her back straightened and she looked up into her twins eyes.

Thom tilted his head to one side.  "Surprised?" he asked.  Alanna shook her head.

"Nothing that sick, sadistic bastard does surprises me any more,"

"So how shall we play this?" Thom asked her.

"I don't have time to fight you like you deserve," Alanna told him.  "But I can make sure no one else kills you," She rammed her sword in between his eyes and watched as they filled with red.

_Roald_

Roald glanced up as the sun glanced off the sword of the man he'd just killed.  The battlefield stretched out for miles all around him, and he'd long lost track of his family and friends, except for Kalasin, who stood on a little mound of bodies- men he'd killed to protect her, surveying the area with a detached expression on her face.  The infant in her arms was following his mother's eyes, and for a moment Roald wished he could just kill the baby, and end everything right then.  But he knew that if he did Kalasin would die too, and he couldn't let that happen.

_Kalasin_

She felt something pulling her, drawing her inexorably towards her ultimate goal.  All around her people were dying, some who had already experienced the pain of death, and she had to stop it.  She was Alanna of Trebond, Pirate's Swoop and Olau, King's Champion and knight of the realm of Tortall.  That knowledge soaked through her body and turned into power.  She knew what she had to do, and no one, not even Roger of Conte, could stop her.

_Daine and Kaddar_

Daine flew high over the battlefield, her hawk's eyes searching for her foe.  A flash of steel caught her attention and she was tumbling from the sky, touching the ground in her naked human form.

"Hey," she called.

The Stormwing Orzone spun around and glared at her.  His expression turned to a smile as he recognized her.

"Hello Veralidaine," he greeted her.

"You've caused a lot of trouble," she told him.  "If I'd known just how much, I'd have taken a little more time over killing you,"

"Well now you have another chance," he replied.  "Are you going to try it or are we just going to stand around her making small talk until this is all over,"

"I was going to kill you," she replied.  "It was definitely on my list of things to do today,

"But then I realised that I wasn't the only one who you hurt, so I'm going to give someone else the opportunity," She gritted her teeth at the sound of metal on metal as Orzone's wing met with his nephew's sword.  She looked away a few moments later, as blood spewed out of the wound Kaddar had made in Orzone's chest.  It was finished by the crunch of bone and Kaddar's voice telling her,

"It's over now,"

She nodded without turning back to see, and sprang onto her wings the minute they would lift her.

_Alanna_

"Take it,"

She stared into his eyes and heard Kalasin's voice in her mind.

_"Can you do it?" _she realised that the question had been not so much a question and more a wish, a desperate plea from a mother who did not want to lose her child.

She slid her blade into Alex's body smoothly into his chest and took Lightening from his hand as he fell.

_Roald_

Roald looked up at Kalasin and saw her stiffen, confirming what he was feeling.  He lifted his sword just in time to stop the oncoming blow, and turned his attention back to the battle.

_Kalasin_

She stepped down from the pile of bodies her brother had made for her and walked forward so she could see the scene.  It would be over soon she knew, with a sort of detached certainty.  No one but Alanna, Jonathon and Roger of Conte could affect the outcome of the battle now.

_Alanna and Jonathon_

Alanna felt Jonathon's presence beside her.

"I guess this is it," she muttered.  Jon nodded. He reached out for her hand.  "I'm scared," he whispered.  She gripped his hand tightly.  "Me too,"

"I…" he began, staring into her face.  Alanna stiffened suddenly.

"Go on," a voice from behind them advised.  "By all means Cousin, profess your eternal love for this woman.  It's the last chance you will get,"

"Shut up," Jonathon hissed.  "Let's just finish this,"

Roger looked disappointed.  "I was hoping you'd want to play first, but if not…"

Lightening hot pain shot through Alanna's side and she gritted her teeth to keep from screaming.  She heard Jon groan next to her, but didn't allow herself to be weakened by glancing at him.  Instead she concerntrated on forming a wall of protection between them and Roger, and soon felt Jonathon's grip tighten on hers and his voice recite the words of the spell with her.

A wall of purple and blue dancing light rose up between them and their enemy, but Alanna could still see him smiling triumphantly.

"There you go, already putting your energy into defence," he gloated.  This may be even faster then I thought,"

"I wouldn't count on that," Alanna called.  "There's two of us and only one of you," she knew she was lying, and suspected that he did too, but the words made her feel braver somehow,"

Jonathon was whispering something and suddenly a sapphire globe appeared in mid air and slammed through their barrier into Roger.  Alanna winced at the pain as it whistled through their protection.

"Jon," she whispered.

His hand squeezed hers.  "Do we have a choice Lady Knight?" she shook her head and then screamed in pain as the barrier collapsed, revealing a grinning Rger holding a sword in his hand.

_Kalasin_

The wind was rushing now, all of time blowing past in a frenzy as the battle drew nearer and nearer to its climax.  She took another step forward, and braced herself against it, holding her child tightly.

_Alanna and Jonathon_

Alanna felt Lightening shiver in its scabbard.

"Do you want it?" she asked.  Roger laughed.

"My dear Alanna, the last time I wanted that sword from you it wound up sticking out of me if I remember correctly.  Do you really think I'd make the same mistake twice?"

"Judging by the fact that you've come back here, where nobody wants you alive, I'd have to say yes," Jonathon replied.

"Now now Your Majesty, don't let's get testy.  And may I remind you that I didn't choose to come back here, and didn't do so by my own means?"

_Kalasin_                                           

It had become too fast for her to her what was happening, but at the same time everything around it had slowed almost to a crawl.  From the corner of her mind still with her body she saw her brother drop beneath the charge of a large man wearing the clothes of a foot soldier.  Distantly she heard his cry, and another, answering, female.  Ignoring this she turned her mind back to the real battle.

_Alanna and Jonathon_

Alanna sighed.  "This is getting tiresome," she told the men.  "Can we please just do what we have to and be done with it?"

"An excellent suggestion Lady Alanna," Roger replied.  She felt the pain again, higher up this time, wrapping itself around her heart and choking the life out of her.

"Do you have anything more to say, or shall I just finish you off?" Roger asked.  He smiled triumphantly, towering above her darkening world.  In the distance she heard a voice speaking urgently, but couldn't make out the words.

_Duke Gareth_

The sky was darkening over the heads of the battling armies.  Duke Gareth of Naxen glanced up at the sky and shook his head.  The neighing of his horse was all that alerted him to the fact that there was an enemy present.  His defence was not swift enough to save the mare, and her slid from her saddle as she fell, meeting his attacker on foot.

_Alanna_

Alanna fought against the darkness, which seemed to her eyes to be somehow orange.  She felt Roger's spell tightening its grip on her heart and screamed without sound at the pain.

_Kalasin_

A tiny palpitation of emotion welled up inside her as she felt the dwindling life forces of her father and aunt.  The baby seemed to grow in her arms, and she fell to her knees under its weight.

_Roald_             

The giant's sword was crushing his wind-pipe, and the world was very quickly fading in on him.  Dimly in the distance he heard a scream, and he recognized it.

_"Don't worry Kally, I'll take care of you, I promise,"_

His sword was lying where it had fallen by his hand.  His fingers gripped it and he raised it up to strike the man on top of him.  He felt his lungs fill with air, and got to his feet, massaging his throat.  She wasn't where he'd left her.  Panicked, he scanned the area.  His eyes found her and he began to run.

_Alanna and Jonathon_

Somewhere far away she felt the heat of her sword in her hand, and was reminded of how that particular weapon had come to be in her possession.

_"I don't think giving in is the answer this time Lightening,"_ she thought sadly.  Then she heard the voice again, closer this time.

_"Open the way for us,"_

She felt a rush of burning power go through her body and opened her eyes.  He was smiling cruelly, not even watching her.  She felt Jonathon's hand squeeze hers and lifted Lightening.

_Roald_

Suddenly he felt a great change in the air, and couldn't find the energy to keep running.  He sank to his knees in the empty sand.

_Alanna and Jonathon_

Roger's mouth fell open, even as his head fell from his body.  Red clouded Alanna's vision as she sank to the ground once.

"Burn," she heard Jonathon whisper, and felt a rush of heat as she repeated the word.  The orange light faded, and sparkling purple and blue took its place.  Then everything vanished and all that was left was Jonathon's sapphire eye's staring into hers.

"Alanna," he whispered.

_Roald and Kalasin_

Roald lifted himself up and looked around.  The bodies of their enemy were fading, and those who were left alive were vanishing into the distance.  He got to his feet and ran to his sister.

He knelt down beside her.  There were tears streaming down her face.

"Is it over?" he asked.

She looked at him, tears streaming over her cheeks, and nodded.  Then she smiled.

"Yes," she whispered.  "It's finally over," She looked down at the baby sleeping in her arms.

"It's over," she repeated, and burst into tears.  Roald took her in his arms and glanced towards the place where he knew that battle had been taking place.  It was empty; nothing remained to show what had occurred there.

Kalasin caught his eyes and pulled them upwards to the sky.  He was shocked to see the stars shining in the middle of the day.  Then he looked at the Cat, and found himself smiling as he saw one of the stars flickering on and off.  Faithful was winking at them.

            _Gary, Raoul, and Duke Gareth_

            "He knew what he was doing," Raoul told Gary.  "And so did Jon, when he brought him with us.  He wanted an honourable death in battle, not to die in his bed surrounded by his family.  You have to understand that, and let him have it with your blessing,"

            Gary looked away.  "You really think he wanted this?" he asked.

            Raoul nodded.  "And you know that I'm right," Gary closed his eyes.

            "Yes,"

            "Alright, now let's get this done with,"

            _Roald and Kalasin_

            Roald stared at the crowd of people gathered at the base of the hill where they'd made their final camp.

            "Are you ready?" he asked his sister.

            Kalasin nodded.  "Yes, I'm ready," She took a deep breath and stepped forward, only to stop.

            "What is it?" he asked, concerned.

            "They're all watching us," she replied.

            _George_

            George Cooper watched the silhouettes of the two young people as they stood there at the top of the hill.  As they began to make their way down he closed his eyes and sighed.

            "Papa?" Alianne addressed him.  He looked at her, and she glanced towards the front of the crowd where Thayet was standing with her children and his sons.  He nodded to his daughter and stepped forward to join them.

            A cheer went up as Kalasin's feet touched the ground at the bottom of the hill, but that cheer abruptly stopped as Thayet stepped towards her daughter with an expectant look on her face.  Roald came to stand behind his sister, but nobody else moved.

            George felt Alianne slip her arms around him and looked down into her frightened blue eyes.  He looked away and made eye contact with each of Alan and Thom as they came to stand by him.

            Thayet's eyes filled with tears as her son and daughter stood stoically before her with no words to give.  She glanced around, and George felt her eyes on him, though he couldn't meet them for the sun.  He turned his head away and then looked back, unable to offer her any comfort but wanting to see anyway.

            Kalasin stepped forward again.  The whole army held its breath as she moved towards her mother.  When she was about two steps away she reached out, offering the baby in her arms.  Thayet stared at her for a moment, and then slowly reached out and took her grandson in her arms.


	14. Epilogue

Epilogue

In the year 464-HE (Human Era) a great battle took place on the sands of the Great desert of Tortall.  The armies of Jonathon of Conte and his allies marched against a force of men reincarnated to serve for a purpose which no human would.  The leader of this army was King Jonathon's own cousin, Duke Roger of Conte, who had twice already been slain by Alanna the Lioness, the King's Champion.

Roger had been bought back to life by the unwilling efforts of Jonathon's two oldest children, Prince Roald of Conte, and Kalasin, Empress of Cathark.  These two were among Jonathon's army, though Kalasin did not fight as she was mother to the child who would become the instrument of destruction should her father's army fail.

While the two armies fought and died the real battle took place between only three people.  Jonathon and Alanna came one last time against Roger, as envoys of the Gods against the forces of Chaos with whom Roger had made a pact.

            In the last moments of this battle, as it seemed certain, even to Jonathon and Alanna that there was no hope remaining for them, the Lady Knight raised Lightening- her first true sword and one fused with an evil weapon of Roger's own making, and decapitated the sorcerer.  Then she and Jonathon used their magic to burn Roger's body, and the battle was ended.

            It was only at that time that Kalasin's child, though it had been born months before, began to live, and his mother too was reborn from the darkness which had grown over her.

Many men were killed in the battle, including the king's uncle Duke Gareth of Naxen, but many more survived to see the Empress hand the child to his grandmother for the first time.

            Neither Alanna nor Jonathon returned to their families after that battle, and it was widely assumed that they had lost their lives.  Whether or not that is true, I cannot tell you, but I know that if they are dead, that they did not go to where mortals do when they die, but instead to the stars, as the old Bazhir prophecy of them; The Night One and the Burning Brightly One.

            Tara, I hope that you understand this, though maybe it is unfair of me to ask you to.  I'm glad my father has not returned, for your father is a good king, and without the burden of his crown Jonathon and his champion may love each other in peace.  I'm not being callous Tara, and I suspect you know that and understand.

            I'm not even sure if your brother knows the truth of what happened that day; we've never spoken of it.  Don't ask it of him, Tara, to forgive our father for loving a woman other than our mother.  He knows just as I do what lay between them, but he cannot bring himself to accept it.  Maybe he will someday, when your grandmother is dead and that guilt no longer burdens him, but you and I cannot ask it of him sooner.

I haven't explained this very well Tara, because I don't want to do it the injustice of explaining it properly with words.  I hope you can understand without me explaining in more detail.  Tell you father that I love him, and that you cousin sends his greeting.

This perhaps I can explain more fully; I nearly lost my child, but had Duke Roger been victorious I would have stayed with him even as all that I loved was destroyed at his hand.  This was not my will, but still I would have done it, simply because I had no choice.  I am grateful for the sacrifices that were made that day, probably more than any other human being, because I had already lost some of what we were all to lose.

I know this makes no sense Tara, but it is what you asked of me, nothing more and nothing less.  I would give you more if I was capable, but I don't know how to do it without surrendering some of myself.  I love you always, and all the rest of our family too.

_Strong arms picked her up and carried to the waiting chariot.  She was rested gently against the seat and then left, but not alone._

_A gentle kiss was laid upon her forehead,_

_"You have done well my daughter," whispered the voice that no longer hurt her.  "Enjoy your journey.  I will be there when it is over,"_

_A feather light touch to the hand registered on her senses, and then the presence was moving away.  It paused for a moment, and she heard a whisper, but could not determine the words.  Then it was gone, and she was able to open her eyes to her lover._

_The chariot breezed into motion and rose into the night sky.  The Night One and the Burning Brightly One rode into the sky in a chariot of fire._

_Without making a single noise she flew to him and he to her, so that they met in the middle.  He kissed her fiercely, gripped her so tight that if she still had breath it would have been choked from her, but she held him just as tightly.  She opened her eyes and looked at the stars around her, and turned back to his bright blue eyes._

_"I love you Jonathon," she whispered._

_…_

_I'm sorry to everyone I have confused in writing this story.  I cannot honestly say that it was not my intention because it was.  This story is over now, as much as stories ever are, so I guess I ought to answer some of the questions that have been put to me._

_I think the most memorable review I got (other than my first) was one which asked about the nature of Roald and Kalasin's relationship, and whether I was implying anything.  I was exquisitely pleased to receive that, because yes I was implying something, but what I was implying was nothing more than an implication; it didn't really exist, even in the story.  I guess that makes no sense, and I apologise again for causing confusion.  It's an art form to me; I just can't help it._

_Most other questions I won't answer, because I hope I already have, but there was one about Kalasin's baby which I couldn't answer, regrettably.  The gist behind that was that there was something volatile in the combination of Kalasin and Kaddars' blood, because of the Tortall vs. Cathark thing (Roger's making) and had Roger's army won the battle Roger would have been reborn into that child, to become the ruler of the new world.  So until the battle was over and won the baby had no soul, and because the spirit is an essential part of a living creature it was draining off Kalasin's and because she didn't want that she was trying to not feel so the baby couldn't take her feelings away.  If that still doesn't make sense, send me an email with specific questions because I'm not going to post anything more to this story but I don't want to leave anyone bitter, so I'll try to help._

_Last thing, the Alanna Jon death one.__  I refuse to answer that properly in the story, but because a couple of people who read this on paper will demand to know and you probably deserve to know more than they do (I'm going to get told off for saying that)… yes, by definition Jon and Alanna died; as in, they left that world and they couldn't return.  But by personal definition, no they didn't.  Basically, it's a matter of perspective.  Just make what you like of the last bit of this chapter (before I started my bit)_

_Thanks for reading this.  I'm saluting you all for bearing with me, because if I'd been reading this, I would have given up.  If anyone wants to play with any of the things I've done here, they're welcome to.  Now piece of advice, then quote, and then I'll shut up._

_Advice: If your heart isn't in a story and you know before you start that you can't end it in one or two chapters, find someone who'll continue it for you or don't start._

_Quote: "Death is the only pure, beautiful conclusion of a great passion,"-D.H. Lawrence via Spike and Dru(Buffy)  wallpaper_

_Shutting up now.__  Goodnight. *Waves*_


End file.
